Post Date December, 03 2023
Marriage is not a matter for one person, and it should not be left to one person to manage. Firstly, it is a very irresponsible behavior, and more importantly, it is not good to manage a marriage. In marriage, there are inevitably contradictions, and there are many reasons for these contradictions, but the most important ones are five. Now, I will introduce them to you separately.
1. Stubbornly believing oneself to be right
"Two people have different personalities. If two people often compete with each other, but take a step back and accept different views from themselves, they cannot successfully live together.". "I'm right" is not the most lethal psychological pattern for marriage, but it is the key to opening the door to the deadly wounds of marriage. "If you can't pass this level, you won't be able to see your other problems.". For this fatal injury, always remember that effectiveness is more important than rationality. Comparing right and wrong with effectiveness, we understand the priority.
2. Give yourself completely to the other party
This is the so-called commitment mentality. Giving yourself up completely to someone else and feeling that the other person should treat you as you like can be fatal to marriage. Often, the entrusted party stops completely psychologically and never grows up again. When one day they suddenly wake up and realize the seriousness of the matter, the gap between the two parties is already too large. The correct mindset is that both parties have sufficient capacity to take care of their own lives, and when two responsible adults are together, they can support each other, nourish each other, inspire each other, and grow together, producing some success and happiness that cannot be achieved alone.
3. Never tell someone how you feel
Nowadays, many couples feel that they should not bring bad emotions from outside home, which can lead to estrangement and worry about the other person. Actually, not saying it will make your partner more worried. And send a message to the other party: My heart is no longer close to you. Expressing emotions is different from venting them on the other person. A person who has emotions and is able to recognize them and discuss their emotional situation with others is a sign of maturity. Learning emotional management can help us recognize our emotions and express them in a way that does not harm each other.
4. Always give in to each other
This act of maintaining "superficial peace" is related to our education, but this idea is incorrect. Patience can lead to emotional overstocking. If it is for children, the elderly, or other reasons, two people struggle to maintain such a "golden and jade" relationship, which ultimately leads to a total outbreak of accumulated negative emotions. Not only will the relationship be damaged or even broken, but the physical and mental health of both parties will also pay a heavy price. At the beginning, two people should agree on a conflict resolution mechanism. This mechanism should allow two people to calmly express their dissatisfaction and agree on how to resolve it.
5. Handling conflicts in the form of a cold war
This behavior is simply an accelerator for the demise of marriage, because the only direction of the Cold War is further alienation. Such people often don't know how to handle conflicts between their spouses. Some couples want to repair the injured relationship after their emotions cool down, so they use a "amnesia" style attitude to actively reconcile and let the storm pass. However, the emotions caused by conflict still have traces in the heart. If they accumulate too much, they will erupt one day. Some people handle disputes with an attitude similar to "forgiveness" or "forgiveness". In fact, such an attitude can be even more harmful to the relationship.
The above are just a few fatal reasons for the escalation of marital conflicts, while other reasons include the "victim" mentality, the "exchange" mentality, and the "possession" mentality. We must pay special attention to these issues when we get along, otherwise it will cause irreversible consequences.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)
