Post Date December, 03 2023
I believe that many people give the impression of being polite, but they are very impatient with their relatives. During the past Spring Festival, did you lose your temper with your parents? Why do people nowadays become more and more impatient with their relatives. Let's have a look!
During the holiday, many people went home to accompany their parents. But someone went home happily, but left in a sullen mood. The reason may be laughable: Mom asked you to eat half a bowl of rice, and after a few words, she impatiently shook hands and left; I bought a new mobile phone for my father. I didn't understand a function. I asked you a few words, but was accused of "how stupid".
At the end of the holiday, when we returned to the workplace and faced leaders, colleagues and customers, we changed our face and patiently answered the questions of these "others". We are polite and courteous to irrelevant people, but we have no scruples and willful disrespect to those who are close and care for us. Many people have lost their temper with their relatives and are very upset afterwards, but this will happen again next time.
The reason is that the tolerance of relatives makes us too presumptuous. If you lose your temper with leaders, colleagues and other outsiders, it is likely to damage your relationship. Therefore, we will consciously or unconsciously pay attention to ways and methods in communication. And "relatives" are a more stable relationship than "outsiders". We know that even if their words and deeds are out of line, they will not care and will not hate; Even if you take them as a vent, you can also gain tolerance, understanding, patience and understanding. Family is a relatively safe and inclusive environment. We will go home to vent our grievances. In such an environment that can give us a sense of psychological security, it is easy for us to forget how to speak well, so that we can use sarcastic, distorted, exaggerated and derogatory language to our families.
In addition, we have too high psychological expectations for people close to us. We think they should support themselves. Once they encounter difficulties, it is easy to form a psychological gap. We feel that "it's all right if others don't understand me, why don't you understand". The more we think, the more angry we become.
When we wantonly transfer the harm from others to our spouse, we do not see the concern contained in a cup of hot tea that the other side silently brings; When we impatiently interrupt our parents' good-natured nagging, we never saw the old man leave without a word and quietly grieve in the room. Relatives bear our hurt without regret, because they are closest to us, closest to us and can contain us with love.
Some netizens once calculated that the time spent with their parents was only a few decades to more than 200 days, and the precious time spent with other close people was also limited. From now on, don't leave rude attitude and unkind criticism to close people. Try to change yourself from the following three aspects.
1. Look at the problem from another angle
People all hope that they are right, and the other party must accept their opinions. Think about problems from the perspective of relatives, think about their starting point and learn to understand them. If they keep nagging, they can choose appropriate ways to express their inner thoughts. Tell them that you already know the problem and let them believe that you can solve it.
2. Let relatives finish
It is often difficult to speak clearly in anger. Therefore, the British historian Parkinson and the management scientist Rastomge said in the book "Know people and be good at their duties", "When there is a quarrel, remember to keep silent, let others finish speaking, and listen with an open mind and sincerity, so that we can communicate with each other and make things clear, It can avoid hurting feelings.
3. Three Rules for Calming Anger
Psychological research has found that when people are angry, they will have a "narrow consciousness" phenomenon and stare at negative information. Try to stop talking or leave the scene to calm down before you lose your temper. In the Spring and Autumn Period, the marquis of Lantian, Wang Shu, was scolded by others. He stood silently against the wall until the man left and then turned to continue his work. American psychologist Ou Lian? Professor Uris suggested that lowering the voice, then slowing down the speed of speech, and straightening the chest forward can effectively calm the anger.
Home is our warmest harbor. Our parents are always patient with us. We should be patient with our parents. As the saying goes, "You can bear it for a while, so as not to worry for a hundred days".
