What should I do if my wife is obsessed with extramarital men and doesn't know how to repent

My wife and I got married in 2010 and have been dating since middle school. We had known each other for 4 years before we got married. In 2012, due to family matters, she got angry and went through the divorce procedures. Before the divorce, she met a man and had a relationship with him. Later, I couldn't manage my two children and called her back. She always came back very well, and during this time, other men also flattered her. However, I found out that I had trouble with her and never contacted her again.

But since July this year, we have had four arguments now, just because there is a man (married) at her workplace who is trying to please her every day and buy her breakfast, and there are still many things I don't know.

The first time I found out was on July 2nd. I went home and looked at the call details. After one o'clock in the night, the man called my wife. Finally, I asked her, but she didn't tell me the truth. Finally, I told her to go out for dinner, but she didn't go. I said to delete it and not talk anymore.

The second time, I found out she was chatting again, so I had an argument with her. I dropped both phones, and in the end, she promised me not to talk anymore, even if it's over.

But what I didn't expect was that for the third time, she reapplied for WeChat, continued chatting behind my back, and made me realize it. This time, we had a big fight, and I beat her up for several hours. She slept at home for three days and recovered. The third time, her family also knew.

The fourth time, yesterday, I found out that she was dating that man again and continuing to chat on WeChat. There is currently no evidence of her infidelity, but perhaps I did it to make things happen that shouldn't have happened. I don't know why, she always does this, arguing with me so hard for a man. Now that I am tired and in no mood to argue with her, our trust is decreasing, I don't know if such a marriage is still necessary to continue? I really can't bear to part with her in my heart, and I am also a family oriented man. I asked many friends, and they all told me to keep one eye open and one eye closed.

reply:

After marriage, sometimes couples do need to turn a blind eye, but the premise is that both parties must not do anything that goes against the bottom line. For this, you need to have your own principles. I'm not sure if you have gone through the procedures again when she came back after your previous divorce? If you are still a legitimate couple, if your wife always flirts with other men outside of marriage, it will undoubtedly challenge your bottom line and potentially undermine the stability of the marriage. If your status is to maintain a divorce without leaving home and without going through remarriage procedures, then in law, you are only in a cohabitation relationship, not a marital relationship, and she has the right to make friends with the opposite sex outside. This is her freedom, and you cannot intervene.

Of course, no matter what, I do not agree with men using violent means to solve problems. Hitting a woman can only represent that you are a reckless man, and at the same time, it will accumulate more resentment in your wife's heart, causing her to dislike you even more. Perhaps your wife no longer really loves you, and being with you is just a form of support for the child. If her heart is no longer with you, it's no use whether you scold or plead. Even if you only get her body, you can't hold onto her heart. For this, you need to ask yourself, where exactly is your problem? Where did you make her so dissatisfied? Is there any possibility of redemption? What can I do to calm her down? To be aware of these, one naturally needs to sit down and communicate with them. If after communication, these problems still cannot be solved, then instead of maintaining a virtual world of two and tormenting each other, it is better to plan ahead. Sometimes, it is also a virtue to fulfill others, and choosing to let go is also to let go of oneself.