Post Date December, 03 2023
My husband and I have been married for six years. He is the only child in the family. He has never done housework since childhood. In addition, he is busy with his work. I seldom let him worry about his family affairs. The child is five years old and goes to kindergarten. Her mother-in-law will take care of the pickup and delivery. My husband's lazy personality is used to by my parents. I live with my parents-in-law. I'm not good at quarrelling with my husband about this.
I like family harmony. If I can tolerate blame, I will tolerate it. Don't quarrel doesn't mean I have no opinion about my husband. I often reason with him. Being a man should be responsible, and not let women do everything. The life of two people is fair, and I also make money. But why should I take care of my family? You are happy and relaxed. I have told him this many times, and it will last for a week at most.
The only thing that makes me happy is that my salary is paid every month. On festivals or anniversaries, let me have a little romance. Think about living, can't ask too much, perfect people are not everywhere. Many of my friends complained to me that my husband was too generous. Although diligent, he was not romantic at all. He didn't even send any flowers. Looking back, my husband is OK.
A month ago, it was our wedding anniversary. As usual, my husband will accompany me to have a candlelight dinner and give me a surprise gift. But he forgot all about it. I prepared the gift early and waited for him to ask me out. I waited all day and didn't hear from him. I took the initiative to call, and he explained that overtime work was very urgent for a project, and the plan should be changed as soon as possible. I believed, and returned home with a sense of loss. I ate some food cooked by my mother-in-law and went to bed early.
I didn't come back at two o'clock in the morning. I called him and he didn't answer it until half an hour. At the end of the phone, I heard his voice as if he was sleeping. He explained to me again that he was too busy and too late. He fell asleep and went back in the morning. When he came back in the morning, I didn't find his face tired. On the contrary, I could see that he was energetic. In the following days, he worked overtime more and more frequently. Once I clearly heard the voice of a woman on the phone.
I couldn't find any clues, until one day a stranger in WeChat added me and sent me a bed photo. In the photo, it was clear that my husband was sleeping on his side. I suddenly felt the sky was falling. I wished it was a practical joke. No matter how I ask her, she keeps silent and only lets me ask my husband. When I put the picture in front of him, he became restless and panicked. Squatting in front of me, he said, "She broke up long ago. She was deliberately angry with you, in order to destroy our marriage.".
I don't want to talk to him, let alone listen to his explanation. Children and parents-in-law are in the next room. I don't want to make a big deal. Perhaps I have been hurt and numb. I can only shed tears to release my inner grievance. I have always been proud of him, but he rolled the sheets with others behind my back. Now he keeps paying attention and trying to maintain our relationship, but I'm not interested. Especially in the aspect of sex, I was completely deceived. At the moment he touched me, I thought he was dirty, but I was not ready for divorce. What should we do in the next days?
Reply from the consultant:
Hello. Faced with this kind of thing, women mostly express anger and grievance! You are not ready for divorce; Accept him, and you will feel sorry for yourself. Instinctive self-protection, leaving her husband out. This psychological gap makes you confused and unable to calm down at all. If you can't forgive the other person in your heart, there will be physical obstacles, such as the psychological reaction that you dislike him dirty.
Suggestion: first of all, it is necessary to clarify what causes his derailment and what needs to be improved between the two sides. Secondly, it is necessary to determine whether he really wants to return, or whether he just conceals extramarital affairs. A flashy marriage can block the gossip of the outside world, so this marriage is meaningless. Behind the "dirty", it is obvious that you have not really forgiven him. Refusing to share a room with him is actually giving him a taste of being abandoned. Whether you want to save or give up this marriage, I hope you can consider it carefully. After all, marriage is not a child's play. We should reflect together and make the best plan.
