Post Date December, 03 2023
Recently, an indescribable incident has occurred that has left me exhausted. When I was 28 years old, I fell in love with a male colleague. Later, due to some misunderstandings, I stopped talking to him and left my original workplace. Afterwards, he repeatedly approached me and requested to maintain a romantic relationship, but I never agreed to him.
There is a saying that 'enemies have narrow paths'. Unexpectedly, he came to work in our company this year and became a department manager, becoming my immediate supervisor. I was in a difficult situation when the board of directors announced that I would become the deputy manager. Perhaps it's fate. In order not to lose this job and income, I had to force myself to cooperate with him. Due to our frequent contact and reminiscing about the past, our old relationship has actually recurred and our relationship is getting deeper and deeper.
He is very happy and does things seriously every day; But I am worried, afraid that someone might discover the improper relationship between us. He sometimes deliberately delegated a lot of power to please me, asking me to endorse or work for him. And I always feel that my abilities and authority are not enough to play my current role, afraid of causing criticism and exclusion from others in the future, which puts a lot of psychological pressure on me.
At present, I am in a very awkward situation: if I obey him absolutely, it will definitely affect my work; If I break off my romantic relationship with him and worry that he will make things difficult for me, because he has a strong sense of revenge. What should I do?
Miss Chen:
Your current situation is indeed very awkward. The problem you need to solve is to straighten out relationships and position yourself properly.
Firstly, it is necessary to try to break off the romantic relationship with the supervisor, clarify the respective responsibilities and powers of the chief and deputy positions, and not affect public affairs due to personal matters.
Secondly, it is necessary to position oneself correctly, that is, to return to your original "position", and also advise him to wake up as soon as possible, return to his "position" as a manager, exercise his responsibilities and powers, and neither side should "go offside" for the sake of the situation. If you have no intention of continuing your relationship with your old lover, do not socialize too closely with him in private to avoid causing misunderstandings and damaging the reputation of both parties. After you straighten out your relationship and position yourself, your mood will naturally improve.
If he cannot understand your good intentions, then you will have to consider changing your work unit.
