Post Date December, 03 2023
When looking for a husband and wife partner, both men and women hope to find a mutually agreeable partner. However, it is difficult to master a person's personality, and it is very difficult to find a woman who is 100% suitable for them. This requires everyone to master some skills of husband and wife interaction when dealing with their other half, and to jointly maintain their marriage. This is the best solution for a harmonious partner.
Whether it's possible for two people to keep going is something many people want to know. Emotion is like an unbalanced balance, not everyone can read her completely. Let's discuss it together.
Maintain a dignified attitude
Although people's attitudes have been much more open, in people's minds, women who are demure, dignified, and docile, especially those who exhibit composure, composure, and restraint in their sexual lives, are good women. This makes most women reluctant to appear sexually explicit and explicit.
In fact, whether women are sexually active or not is different from whether they have sexual enthusiasm and initiative. Women are by no means passive in sexual matters. However, women can only express themselves in a more subtle and implicit way.
The most destructive to marriage
Many marriage counselors aim to defuse mutual resentment between couples, but Gottman believes that the most destructive aspects of marriage are not anger, but blame, arrogance, self defense, and closure. To prevent these emotions from occurring, a partner should know what the other person wants and is afraid of, and then act around the latter to reach consensus.
Based on Gottman's experience, he has estimated that the accuracy of couples' possible divorce has exceeded 90%. He believes that within seven years of marriage, the likelihood of divorce is highest, and marriages at this stage continue for an average of 5.2 years. The next dangerous stage is between 16 and 20 years after marriage, with an average age of 16.4 years. For example, in the general discussion of a newly married young couple who participated in the experiment, there was a lot of sarcasm and accusations mixed between their words. Gottman pointed out at the time that they were definitely going to divorce. Although the couple claimed to strongly love each other at the time, they did meet in the divorce court four years later.
Balanced power is conducive to good relations
Unbalanced power structures can also cause fatal damage to spouse relationships. Due to the historical social custom of men being superior to women, wives are more susceptible to the influence of their husbands, so husbands should be more sensitive to their wives' needs. For example, when a husband is watching a ball game and his wife has something to say, it is best for him to turn off the TV and focus on his wife. In particular, the dominant partner in a relationship should always think of us, not just me.
Actively resolve conflicts
Disputes between spouses are common, and the problem is not to get bogged down in conflicts. After an argument, both parties should actively seek redress to prevent resentment from arising, as resentment is often the beginning of a rift in a partnership. In an argument, it is best if one party can use humor to defuse the tense atmosphere. For example, when a couple were arguing over which type of car to buy, their wife mimicked their four year old son by putting her hand on her waist and sticking out her tongue. The husband was suddenly amused, and the tension immediately dissipated.
Learn to appreciate each other
Differences in personality and living habits between partners are the main reasons for family conflicts, and focusing solely on these conflicts can seriously affect the relationship between them. Both partners should learn to appreciate each other's strengths and use the joy of appreciation to offset the unhappiness brought about by conflicts. For example, a couple initially argued about keeping their rooms tidy, but later they gradually narrowed the gap because they realized that mutual care was more important than where newspapers should be placed.
Psychologists have created a counseling service called receiving therapy through research on quarrelling couples. They believe that some couples try to achieve a harmonious relationship by changing each other, but certain aspects of the spouse's personality cannot be changed.
"Spouses get along well not only because they have a common language, but also because they have complementarities. Just look at the examples in our research sample, and we can see that most of the marriages that fail are due to not being able to accept the differences of the other person.". Researchers believe that some marriages are still not worth saving. For example, domestic violence (especially wife abuse) is a bad habit that is difficult to break, and divorce is often the only way out.
There are also some couples who have too many differences between them, and no amount of good counseling and treatment will make any difference. Gautman said there is a very simple way to detect whether a spouse still has feelings: he lets both parties recall which aspects of the other person attracted him or her when they fell in love. If both parties can recall these beautiful past events and smile when talking about them, it indicates that there is still the possibility of a reunion of romantic dreams.
