Post Date December, 02 2023
I'm only 1.5 meters tall, and I'm still an unattractive lady. I am very inferiority complex. I always lower my head and dare not look at the boys I like.
I am helpless about my appearance. Maybe these negative effects have led to my introverted personality and unwilling to communicate with strangers. At the age of 20, I immigrated overseas with my parents and embarked on the road of blind date.
I am studying in college, and I have to obey my mother's blind date every weekend. I think it is not only my own lack of confidence, but also my mother thinks I am very bad. Otherwise, why should I have been introduced so early? I'm afraid that others don't know that my daughter can't marry.
For this reason, I often quarrel with my mother. I said, 'If I really can't marry, I won't marry'. Finally, my mother was half angry. People often say that their lives should be controlled by themselves, and I? As the only girl in my family, I seem to have lost all the freedom of self-choice. I feel that happiness is far away from me.
After many blind dates, they all failed. At the age of 22, my mother introduced a boy who was one year older than me through domestic relatives. He looks good, 175 in height, has ideals, but his family is very poor. The first condition for a mother to choose a son-in-law is that the other party is willing to be involved, because I am the only daughter in the family, and I must inherit the family.
The mother said to the boy that she was willing to give us one million yuan so that we could start a small business as soon as we got married. The boy agreed, and soon after I returned home to apply for a marriage certificate, and invited many relatives and friends to dinner.
On the night of his wedding, he did not touch me, but was drunk. He kept asking me whether I believed he could make a difference and whether he was a little white face. I can see that he is very unhappy to drink away his worries. I am also sad to face such a situation. Is this the happiness I want?
After getting married, we have been treating each other with courtesy and living in the same room with my parents. He is a hardworking man, and also very progressive. As for the attitude towards me, I think it is family or the ugly point is trade. He instinctively repels me, which can be felt from the fact that he doesn't like to take me out on the street. I admit that I am ugly. Which man would like to admit that he is his wife when walking with such a woman who is short and looks bad?
I don't blame him. Judging people by their looks is a normal person's psychology. I thought we could live in such a flat life, but after three years of marriage, our marriage was in crisis because of another woman.
In a few years, we have changed from a small factory to a large company. He is no longer the poor boy who started from us in those days, and he is even more indifferent to me. There are always many excuses for not staying home at night.
We have a son who looks like him. Every time our family of three go out, someone looks at us with strange eyes. Even some people misunderstood me as their nanny, and he didn't explain but smiled, which made me very uncomfortable and inferiority.
Since I met that woman, his attitude towards me was even more indifferent. Sometimes he would joke that the child was not like me. My parents are both good, so I don't inherit. I never care about his sarcasm, because I know that I have no capital, and I don't think he would be a burden to our family without some money at home.
One day, he suddenly asked me what I would do if he had a woman he loved? I was silent. In fact, I knew I just didn't want to expose it. I didn't want to divorce. The more I avoid this problem, the more he dug it out to let me know, and told me honestly that he didn't love me, and my appearance made him ashamed to introduce to his relatives and friends.
I cried bitterly. I said not to divorce. My mother would be sad. Anyway, my parents treated him well. He said that he would pay me one million yuan, and let me give him back his freedom. He said that the child should be raised by me. Silly, I still have a grateful heart. I think he has a conscience. I know that I am the only daughter in my family, so I give the child to me and pay back the money his parents gave him that year.
Later, I learned from my friend that it was not so. He fell in love with other women, and not only that, but also their children. It was the woman who asked him for a divorce and refused to let him recognize her son. I hate him, and I won't divorce. I want to live like this even if I have no feelings. I don't want to help them.
I thought my parents could hold him down, but everything is different now. He used the one million we gave him to double his value. He is no longer the good son-in-law who listens to his parents, but speaks to us with great wealth. I refused to divorce, and he simply refused to go home. Several times I held the child to find him, and he drove us away cruelly, even though the child was ill.
My marriage failed because of my appearance. How can I continue with my children? I don't want my children to grow up in a single-parent family. A friend once said to me: marriage is not a business. You can't exchange material things for happiness.
Now, I deeply understand this truth. In addition to business, marriage is not begging. If you have a different dream, you'd better end it earlier. With tears in my eyes, I signed a divorce agreement. This cumbersome marriage made me regret for life.
Reply:
How to better manage the marriage and family? Psychologists suggest: first of all, we should lay a good foundation for marriage. Marriage should be based on feelings, and we should not choose to enter into marriage in order to achieve a certain purpose. Secondly, the traditional concept should be changed. If you cannot accept the form of intrusive marriage in your heart, you should not use it.
Thirdly, parents of families should give their daughters and sons-in-law free space and should not interfere and control them too much. In addition, the families with redundant children can also consider living separately from their parents and normalizing the life of special marriage.
Entrapment is only a form of marriage. It has nothing to do with the happiness of marriage life. The key to happiness is that families can work together to create a happy family atmosphere.
So Ellie made a mistake at the beginning. 1. She let her parents control her marriage and marry a man she didn't know. 2. They started their marriage in a way of trading, without emotional basis, and such marriage was doomed to crisis. 3. The heroine is not self-confident, and the inferiority complex can't even sort out their own psychology. How can we better master happiness? Everyone has his own advantages and should know how to dig himself.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)
