Post Date November, 16 2024
My boyfriend and I have a bit of a disharmony in our sexual life. We have foreplay, but after a while he quickly gets to the point and feels like I'm not getting better yet. He's already GC. Sometimes, both parties have GC, but I'm still addicted to it and he leaves soon. Why can't we just enjoy GC together? 'How many times a night' is just a legend
Upon seeing the question in the message, I couldn't help but think of a sentence like this: "A boy's orgasm is a fleeting fireworks display, while a girl's orgasm is a non-stop small explosion, one fast and gorgeous, the other slow and persistent
In fact, the difficulty of GC at the same time is that the arousal cycle is inherently different between boys and girls, with girls having a cycle that is 5-10 times longer than boys. From awakening to GC, you may take 10 to 40 minutes, while it only takes 2 to 4 minutes.
Otherwise, there won't be so many boys mistaking themselves for premature ejaculation
How different are the sexual reactions of men and women?
You need to know two models
Men and women exhibit similar physiological behaviors during orgasm:
An orgasm can cause a spasm of muscles throughout the body, increase blood pressure, reach a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, and a respiratory rate of 40 beats per minute.
Psychologically, both genders can also experience a strong sense of pleasure:
If it were to come, I would pursue the release of that moment. Before that, I had a premonition, a warm and itchy feeling along my spine all the way to my waist, my toes curling up nervously, and then a huge force relaxed in an instant, from suffocation to non-stop breathing, and then I didn't think of anything and just wanted to sleep
——28 years old, Scorpio, male
"It's hard to describe. I think the pleasure is accumulated slowly. The whole body gradually becomes tense and sensitive. It will feel that the whole person is overwhelmed by the pleasure and happiness until a certain degree of accumulation. When the climax comes, there is even a little palpitation. The pleasure comes in waves, and I will be intoxicated with it slowly. The climax is really cool, but it can not be expected."
——24 years old, Sagittarius, female
The GC of men and women is similar in terms of pleasure, but there are still many differences.
In addition, there are more differences in sexual reactions between men and women than people imagine, such as:
Two completely different sexual response models for men and women
The first type is a male "linear model oriented towards orgasm".
As early as 1966, American sexologists Masters and Johnson defined the sexual response cycle as four stages - ① sexual desire stage, ② sexual arousal stage, ③ orgasm stage, and ④ sexual regression stage.
That is to say, in a one-time activity, the experience of most men is: they first develop sexual desire, then react, then reach orgasm, and then immediately calm down.
For most men, to reach the climax stage, they must first go through the stages of sexual desire and arousal.
However, women's sexual response is different from that of men, as they are not simply and linearly unfolded. The sexual response model of women is more complex than that of men.
Simply put, women's sexual experience does not start with sexual desire or end with orgasm, especially for women in long-term stable relationships.
In a one-time activity, many women are initially in a "sexual neutral state" and do not feel that they have developed sexual desire (while men explicitly use it as the starting point for sexual activity).
Women do not experience sexual arousal until they receive various sexual stimuli such as touch, smell, kiss, and visual stimulation from their partners, and only after arousal do they feel their sexual desire. (Men, on the other hand, only need to feel sexual desire without any stimulation to naturally experience sexual arousal, while women's sexual arousal relies more on sexual stimulation.) Image highlight: After experiencing sexual desire, she will pursue more sexual stimulation, further enhancing her sexual desire and arousal, forming a cycle.
When a girl develops sexual desire and arousal, and reaches orgasm, she will experience both physical and emotional satisfaction, followed by an emotional intimacy with her sexual partner (while the boy has already entered the Sage time of sexual decline).
At this point, if a boy cannot consider the girl's sexual response model and only focuses on his own "regression", the girl is prone to feeling emotional loss.
What are the inspirations from the differences in sexual reactions between men and women
1. Sexual desire can be spontaneous or reactive
Unlike men who are more likely to have spontaneous sexual desire, women's sexual desire is actually a reactive desire rather than a spontaneous desire.
Women can experience sexual arousal, orgasm, and satisfaction without sexual desire. Only when sufficient sexual stimulation exists can women confirm the existence of their sexual desire.
That is to say, you may not have much desire at first, until your partner takes action and provides you with enough sexual stimulation to trigger sexual arousal, and then you will develop from not feeling sexual desire to 'being able to confirm the existence of sexual desire'.
Therefore, if you or your female partner always feels that their sexual desire is insufficient, there is no need to worry. It is still possible to engage in interactions that involve sexual stimulation, and then bring about the birth of "sexual desire".
2. Men and women need to achieve sexual pleasure through different things
The way men obtain pleasure is mostly through direct, genital centered sexual contact. Women, on the other hand, have a harder time realizing what kind of physical stimulation they need.
Research has found that women are more likely to experience sexual pleasure in intimate relationships with more commitment and good communication. That is to say, women need relationship and emotional factors more to make themselves feel the pleasure of sex.
3. More often than not, the quality of sexual experience is determined by factors other than sex. If I ask you, what determines the quality of sexual experience?
Previous pornographic films may tell you N times a night, clever techniques, duration, size... In fact, these factors that we usually consider are not directly related to a good sexual experience. For example, research has confirmed that male size is not related to sexual satisfaction. The BBC documentary "21st Century Sex Guide" once pointed out that as long as a man's erection size reaches 4 centimeters, it is enough to bring sexual pleasure to women.
So, what are the factors that affect our 'sexual well-being'?
Rooting out and improving the quality of intimate relationships is the only way to enhance sexual well-being.
Even if your heart is broken in love, don't worry about who's in the picture
Research has found that factors related to relationships are more accurate predictors of sexual satisfaction. That is to say, the factors that will affect your relationship will also affect your sexual life. For example, when you argue and ignore each other, you will also show coldness and resistance in sex; And after your relationship is repaired, you will experience pleasure and satisfaction in sex again.
At the same time, couples who have more intimate interactions in their daily lives have better sexual experiences than those who seem to be separated. Therefore, putting our focus beyond sex and back into the relationship is the key to enhancing the sexual experience between partners by improving the quality of our relationship!
Let's recommend some time to enhance the experience!
1. Wake up in the morning
Every morning from 6am to 9am, it is the most suitable time for sexual desire between the sexes, and after waking up, it is the time when sexual hormone secretion is strongest and desire is strongest. Therefore, it is advisable to have a joyful "morning exercise" with the other half in the morning.
2. After lunch
Around 2pm, after lunch, it was the peak time for male sexual desire and sperm quality, but unfortunately everyone had to go to work and had to experience it on holidays.
3. Ovulation period
During the ovulation period, women tend to have more sexual desire than usual, as they also produce a large amount of estrogen. Therefore, boys want their girlfriends to enjoy it more. Please record their physical time on their own.
4. Before important occasions
Sexual activity can release hormones from the body and help relieve stress, so it's best to have sex a few hours before an important occasion to help your partner relax.
5. When feeling down
Because sex can relieve emotions, having sex when your partner is in a bad mood will definitely make them happier.
6. Ill health
Numerous studies have shown that sex can enhance resistance, so if you feel a bit unwell in your body, you know what to do.
7. After vigorous exercise
Due to the stimulation of hormones in the body after extensive exercise, which leads to sexual desire, it is recommended to exercise before having sex with your partner next time.
