Post Date December, 03 2023
"After ten years of cultivation, we can cross the same boat, and after a hundred years of cultivation, we can sleep together." Two of the billions of people who have become married are destined to be married. But when two people spend their entire lives together, there will inevitably be bumps. Many times, marital conflicts develop from minor issues, which can seriously affect normal marital life. What are some things in life that particularly affect a couple's feelings?
1. Arguing repeatedly about the same thing
Couples are always arguing about the same thing over and over again, just like standing still, unable to solve any problems, and becoming increasingly upset and trapped in a dead cycle.
Expert analysis: Behind quarrels and excuses is a sense of fear, as both spouses are deeply afraid of being abandoned, rejected, or considered inappropriate. Only when both spouses fully trust each other and unconditionally love each other can they show their shortcomings. Finding the trigger for conflict and working hard to change it will avoid repeatedly arguing about the same thing.
2. Transmit pessimism to the other person
A husband said, "When I come home from work, I feel very happy, but my wife is very tired and under the pressure of going to work. This also destroys my good mood. I think it's much easier to make others feel bad than to make them feel better."
Expert analysis: Low emotions can easily affect each other. However, people can choose not to be affected by their spouse's low emotions, and when the other person is in low spirits, they must remain optimistic. Over time, a positive and optimistic mood on one side can drive the other half out of a low mood.
3. Mutual sarcasm
Some people believe that expressing feelings is safer than opening up to the other person, but this can be aggressive. "Because this may convey anger, frustration, and other emotions to the other person without expressing your true thoughts.".
Expert advice: Find out what you really think and want to say before telling the other person, and never use words that reveal "anger" or "disgust.".
4. Overworrying about the other person's health
Wives often complain that their husbands "don't take their health seriously", and then feel that they are irresponsible for their families and don't love their wives.
Expert analysis: This is a "coexistence" marital relationship, where one party believes that they are responsible for the health of the other party, so controlling the other party can be frustrating. Forcing someone to do something can only lead to mutual dissatisfaction and hatred. Many couples believe that they must keep pace to be happy, but there are significant differences between different people, and these differences should be respected.
5. Uneven division of labor in household work
One party hates the fact that the trash can is full of garbage, and usually actively empties it, but may feel like they are taking on too much.
Expert analysis: Although housework is a trivial matter, both parties should actively undertake it and reach an agreement on the division of labor for housework. If the "household agreement" is broken, both parties should sincerely admit their mistakes.
6. Family life is too casual
A wife said, "My husband often burps and clears his throat, making a loud noise at home. This bothers me, but he doesn't seem to care."
Expert analysis: Family life should not be too casual. If it is always the case, the other party will feel disrespected, and both parties should demonstrate sufficient maturity and respect.
7. Children's education issues
"A wife said, 'We have differences on how to treat our son. My husband wants to give him more pocket money, but I don't think it's necessary. This has led to an argument.'"
Expert analysis: In this situation, we should adopt a pragmatic attitude, sit down, and honestly evaluate the pros and cons of how much we spend on our allowance. If it doesn't work, then listen to other friends' suggestions.
8. Internal and external personalities are not complementary
Some couples enjoy socializing while the other enjoys staying at home. This can sometimes lead to inconsistent pace.
Expert analysis: One party can say, "I would like to invite you to participate in activities together, because if we cannot share this kind of life, we cannot become a close couple." The other party also needs to take a brave step, because in a marriage relationship, only by making appropriate arrangements can couples become more harmonious.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)
