Post Date December, 03 2023
I am 25 years old this year, and my family is also quite anxious. My relative introduced a person who is my uncle's nephew. Perhaps he has a hot temper and hasn't found a good partner even in his thirties this year. It was a few years ago that he had a bad temper. Now he is trading second-hand cars in Beijing, and the exact amount of money he can earn is still unknown.
Why did you introduce him to me? It's because my aunt, thinking that he's getting older and I'm not too young, tried her best to get us together. Even this Valentine's Day, my aunt asked him to buy flowers for me. Recently, I was looking at the house, so conflicts arose.
Before I fell in love with him, it was agreed upon by both parents. Due to my parents' consideration of his unstable job, I heard that they told others among their relatives in their hometown that if they got married to him, they would not only buy a large property house but also give me 300000 yuan.
I'm not sure if this was said or not, but my grandmother heard it and it spread to my mother's ears, and then my mother took it seriously. Later, my mother told my aunt, who was also the matchmaker, about this, including the dowry of 300000 yuan for a large house.
At that time, my aunt didn't know and didn't understand my mother's meaning, so she still pretends to be confused now. Just yesterday, they booked the house, the property certificate was my name, installment payments, mortgage payments, and so on, all of which were repaid by his father. At that time, my mother was not willing to listen and said, 'Isn't it a one-time full payment?'? Why pay in installments? Is it possible for his father to buy it for me and repay our mortgage? Are you in your fifties or something?
Then the mother called her aunt to talk about the house repayment, and the most crucial thing was the dowry of 300000 yuan. The aunt now doesn't know, she didn't even say that or anything? And my mom thought this was from their family
Now my mother says she won't marry him unless she gives him 300000 yuan, and her attitude is very firm. I may be too weak as a person, but I am determined that my mother will do everything for my own good, and I will listen to her.
Brother Shan, am I doing the right thing? Also, at noon, I asked him if I had to pay for that 300000 yuan, and he said let it go. He doesn't have that much money.
reply:
1. Marriage is not a child's play. Don't turn emotions into a transaction. Think about it, do you want a true love or a business deal? Although the process of discussing marriage is inevitably mixed with personal thoughts, and although the essence of marriage is a community of interests, if the foundation of marriage is not based on consolidating emotions, but more on financial interests, can this marriage still guarantee happiness and happiness in the end?
2. Make your own decisions about your marriage and don't be influenced by your parents. Choosing a partner and choosing a partner is your own business. Don't overly rely on your parents. Once your emotional world is kidnapped by your parents' views on marriage and love, you will lose your own existence. In the future, how much ability do you have to control your life happiness?
3. When choosing a marriage partner, although it is necessary to have your own selection criteria, it cannot be measured solely by money and finance. It should be considered comprehensively, including the other party's family status, quality and cultivation, personal abilities and income. More importantly, the other party's character, whether they have ambition, and the quality of their personal qualities are what you need to pay special attention to, rather than just focusing on the dowry, On the property. Otherwise, you can easily choose the wrong person and enter a blind alley of utilitarian marriage.
4. It is undeniable that all parents in the world do things for their own children, all out of love for their children. However, there are many ways of love, some love makes children feel positive energy, while others often mislead and harm children. In reality, many young couples, including men and women who have just entered marriage, experience emotional changes and marital farce, which are related to their parents' excessive manipulation and fingerprinting behind them. Therefore, as young people, they should understand to follow the correct concept of marriage and love, guide their marriage and love choices, do not obey their parents everywhere, do not be too greedy, do not be too influenced by others, and do not hate marriage too much. Marriage and love choices are a natural thing, and impatient often cannot eat hot tofu. It is better to treat them with caution and rationality. Only by keeping your eyes wide open before marriage can you choose the one you truly want. Otherwise, if you blindly pursue quick success and instant benefits, and have a mentality of not being drunk, you can only scare away the other party and pass by with a regret and a happy marriage.
