Post Date December, 03 2023
A few days ago, someone came to me for consultation, and his question was actually very simple: he didn't know what his problem was. At first glance, it may seem strange for someone who doesn't know what the problem is and is willing to pay me for advice, but I think it's great because identifying the problem is the most important thing.
Many people think they are good and have no problems, but they don't understand, don't know skills, don't dress up, or think that women like to be tall, wealthy, and handsome, which is why they don't have a girlfriend. This is simply a big mistake.
Most people who have been to the Guild of Heroes know that I am short and thin, with an extremely poor physique. Not only am I not handsome, but I also have dark circles under my eyes that are as heavy as pandas. Moreover, I don't talk much and can be said to have no unique features. So why did I make a girlfriend?
The answer is simple, that is, I have always known and admitted that I am not good enough, and I am not ashamed of myself.
People who always think they are good will not find ways to change themselves. They will only continue to live in the same way they have always been, and will never find the root cause of the problem because they will only look outside, unaware that the root cause of the problem lies within themselves.
But unfortunately, not many people in this world have the courage to admit that they are not as good as they imagine. When I know and accept my shortcomings, it doesn't mean I have to keep flaunting them, but rather that I can clearly understand my strengths and weaknesses and find ways to make up for them.
During the consultation, I simply told the other party (alias it San Ge here): Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Real experts know where their fishing grounds are and where they can catch the most fish.
Many people who are clearly not suitable for chatting up, because they see everyone chatting up, they follow and learn to chat up, but the success rate may be too low. May I ask if such behavior is of any help to him? This is just a blow to his confidence in himself.
Because of my appearance, I am not suitable for chatting up, but I will find my own fishing ground. I am very good at making friends online and dealing with friends. This is my fishing ground. And the reason why I can find my fishing ground is just because I know I'm not good enough in this area.
Because I am aware of my own shortcomings, I have put in more effort than others. I have spent a lot of time searching for ways that are suitable for myself and have discovered a lot of logic from it. This is also why I am able to provide advice to many people who come for consultation.
We are not perfect people, and no one in this world is perfect. So accepting that we are not that good is actually not shameful at all. We just understand and tolerate our imperfections more. If you are not willing to accept yourself, who will be willing to accept you?
I have always emphasized loving myself, both boys and girls alike. Loving oneself is not only about loving the good part of oneself, but also about loving the imperfect part of oneself, because no matter what, it is always a part of you! Even if you suppress it so much that it doesn't appear, it will definitely affect you.
Please be tolerant and considerate of the parts of yourself that are not so good, because this is likely the reason why you do not love yourself. If you feel like you don't have love, then you will seek it from the other person, and the end result is that the other person can't bear it, and then break up with you.
But if you are a person with love, you can choose to share your love with them. The choice lies with you, and you don't need to attach your heart to others. You must always bend or look at others' faces.
Today, my third brother told me that some people say I can't give people a sense of security. I answered him directly because you don't have a sense of security yourself. How do you give others a sense of security? Your heart is full of anxiety, how can you make others feel at ease?
In relationships, we don't need to covet what others can give us, but rather think about what we can do for them. When we admit that we are not enough, we only know how to make up and where to go!
I have never felt that I am a good man because I know I am not good enough, so I have been striving to become a good enough man, which is my recognition of myself. And what about you? What do you think of yourself?
