Our husband and female temporary workers have been at an impasse since they cheated on each other

Reader's Letter:

Hello, my husband is cheating. I discovered it earlier this year. He said they didn't start going to bed until October last year, but they had been in touch for two years. Xiao San is a temporary worker and has already married and had children. All external conditions are not as good as mine. After I learned, my husband said that he was wrong and wanted to cut off contact with that woman. He also actively used his relationship to transfer from his original unit. Although he is still in a system, it takes him half an hour to drive to meet.

"My husband can only come back twice a week for various reasons, so it's hard for me to find out if they're still in touch.". Moreover, I also found that this woman often changes her phone number and sends him messages such as "I haven't been in touch for so long, do you still remember me?" or "I'm not happy and won't make you feel comfortable.".

Although my husband has always said that he has not contacted him, I really don't know if they are still in touch. The last time, the woman had been calling him for half a month, and although his call log did not show that he had taken it, I was really angry and had a big fight with him. My husband was completely annoyed and at first agreed to divorce, but he was always cold. For nearly a month, I have detained my child as he is sensible, and he has been neither hot nor cold.

The other day was our wedding anniversary, and he gave me a pair of shoes and a meal together. "I thought we could still be fine, but up to now we are still neither hot nor cold, we don't contact if we have nothing to do, and there are just a few faint words about something.". I never go home, and when it comes to off duty days, there will be various reasons not to come back. It was agreed that I would be off duty this Saturday night, but I haven't come back all night, and I haven't explained anything yet.

We don't have any communication now, and he doesn't tell me anything. Even when he comes back, we don't have a husband and wife life. Teacher, what should I do? Is my marriage really beyond redemption?

reply:

Hello, in the face of a man's infidelity, smart women don't make a fuss. Calm down and ask themselves, do I try to improve and save the marriage, or do I just have a heart to let the other person go? "You must fully understand before expressing your emotions to your husband. Otherwise, you will simply and rudely deal with his cheating. He will not only be difficult to repent, but may also be more determined to cheat.". Sometimes, doing things requires methods and flexibility, requiring a change of thinking to deal with them, and not going all the way to the dark.

First of all, you have encountered the betrayal of your husband, which is your misfortune. Moreover, once a man cheats after marriage, there is no need for you to worry about whether he will have a relapse in the future, because the credibility of such men's return vows after cheating is very low. If you care about his promises, once he breaks them, you will be particularly hurt. If he promises to you later that he won't cheat again, you can choose to accept it. Your constant entanglement and confusion can only add obstacles and make yourself uncomfortable.

Secondly, if you want to continue your marriage, you need to understand how to turn the page as soon as possible and not endlessly entangle yourself with the issue of his infidelity. If you continue to entangle yourself, you will continue to be embarrassed. Do a good job as a wife, find the gap between you and your third child, and eliminate your own weaknesses. Only then can the distance between you and your husband continue to shorten.

In addition, change your current status of frequent separation, continue to request your husband to change his job, and change his status quo of only returning home twice a week. Otherwise, he will still have more opportunities and conditions to hang out outside.

Also, you need to take the initiative to communicate with your husband. It's his business whether you want to take the initiative to communicate with him or not. If you don't want to give up the opportunity to relax with your husband and have the intention to repair your marital relationship, you need to force yourself to take the initiative and don't screw up with your husband. After all, you also admit that you are no worse than junior three in all aspects. If you lower your posture, learn from junior three, and improve yourself, It's not difficult for your husband to return to your arms.