Post Date December, 03 2023
Many men and women thought that they had obtained a marriage certificate, so they entered the marriage safe of "getting old together". Once you have children, you feel more confident that you have obtained double insurance for your marriage and have a blind sense of love security. So, according to temperament, do whatever you want, completely disregarding the needs and wishes of the other party. Over time, the relationship between husband and wife gradually shifted from silence and dissatisfaction to complaining, arguing, resisting, running away from home, and even meeting in court, leading to the tragedy of marriage. Some couples, considering their children, public opinion, or the pressure on their families, may not have reached the stage of separation or divorce, but their relationship remains as cold as ice and becomes a makeshift family.
Rome was not built in a day. In fact, there are certain signs of the gradual decline in love between couples, with the following common signs:
1、 My interest in sexual life decreases, and I use various excuses to avoid getting intimate with the other person. When it comes to expressing love, I adopt a "routine" attitude.
2、 Temper becomes irritable and irritable, often criticizing the other party for small matters.
3、 Feeling impatient with your partner's words, losing interest, and intentionally making actions that contradict their wishes.
4、 Intentionally isolate oneself and reduce activities that both parties can participate in together. Develop personal interests and exclude others from their own circle of activities.
5、 Try to minimize the time spent with your partner. For example, extending working hours and intentionally wandering outside of work.
6、 The interest in friends of the opposite sex is increasing, and even openly expressing admiration for other members of the opposite sex.
7、 Gradually reduce enthusiasm and resist the emotional expression of your partner, with a cold and heartless demeanor.
8、 Intense arguments and violent behavior frequently occur, and even in public, they will not hesitate to argue with their partners, and the severity of the arguments is increasing.
9、 The egocentrism mentality is becoming more and more obvious, only thinking about their own needs, no longer thinking about each other.
When the above situation occurs in a marital relationship, it indicates that the alarm bell for emotional breakdown has sounded. At this point, the cause should be identified, the cracks should be bridged, and the development should not become uncontrollable.
Growing old together comes from three forces
A professor pointed out that there are three forces that promote a couple to grow old together: desire, infatuation, and adhesion.
The First Power: Desire
The professor believes that desire is not equivalent to love. Desire is controlled by chemicals secreted in the brain, which is simple and clear. But if sexual activity is only for sexual needs, it is also a dangerous thing, because at this time, the levels of oxytocin and vasopressin in the body will be too high, causing harm to health. Moreover, these chemicals can create a strong sense of dependence, but if the other person is not a suitable partner, it's bad.
The second power: infatuation
Romantic love involves chemicals that are different from the first force. The professor believes that romantic love produces a chemical called dopamine, which can lead to excessive emotional attachment to sexual partners. From an evolutionary perspective, this natural obsession encourages both males and females to stay together and spend their pregnancy together. A survey shows that people in a period of infatuation spend more than 90% of their time thinking about their partner.
The professor pointed out that romantic love between couples gradually fades over time, possibly due to two reasons: firstly, the nerve endings of the brain become numb due to long-term high levels of stimulation; Secondly, the secretion level of brain chemicals gradually decreases. Regardless of the cause, enthusiasm generally cools down after two to three years.
The third force: adhesive force
As the passion for infatuation weakens, the third stage, the adhesion period, begins. At this point, the partners feel calm and secure. It is precisely this power that makes a couple grow old together. Of course, the challenge in life is how to find the other half who shares everything with you.
