Post Date December, 02 2023
My lover and I are in the same unit. In the summer of 2014, I became angry and realized that she had become indifferent to me. Later in early January of this year, it was discovered that she had an improper relationship with a man from my company. Because two people are always angry, I always live in the factory in December.
On a day in early January, when I returned home at midnight, I found the man at my house. (This man is usually his own friend) I slapped the man in the face, and he walked away. I beat up my lover, and from that day on, neither the man nor my lover went to work again. This matter has also begun to spread in the factory. After she had an improper relationship with the other party, she wouldn't let me touch her. The day after the accident, her parents took her back to her parents' house. Later, I thought carefully and found out that I still love her and have a deep affection for her. It has been nearly 20 years since we met and got married, and there is also a boy who is in junior high school. For the sake of this relationship and the child, I must also endure this breath.
After two days, I went to pick her up and brought her home, but she still didn't want to live a married life with me. She always didn't feel awkward, and both of them were angry every day! I almost got divorced. In mid January, due to two people getting angry, I didn't go to work either. Later on the 23rd, I went to a different place to relax at my friend's place. On the 27th, I returned home and she always talked to me about feelings and had to live with me during the days I was away. However, I found that during the days I was away, she was still abnormal. I pressed the surveillance on my car at home, but she didn't know. On the morning of the 26th, she went to see that man again, On the 27th, when I came back, I wanted to divorce her. She said she wanted me to give her one last chance, so I once again fell out of love with her. Later in life, I realized that she still had the same attitude towards me as before, and some things in life were still normal. After living as a husband and wife, I still didn't have any feelings!
Because of this matter, both of us are still angry every day. Whenever we get angry, I scold her and tell her about it. I am really speechless, I don't know what to do, (that man is already married and has a 7-year-old child). But when I saw her, I wanted her to know if she was sick. Before me, she got married once. In 1997, she had a child of 3 or 4 years old that year. She went to work in our factory and said she was unmarried. We fell in love. She divorced the next year and we got married. At that time, I was still unmarried. Now, it's possible that my appearance is not good, my height is not high, my hair is about to fall off, and I am still highly myopic. The person in our factory is young, The good appearance is a reason. But now what should I do? This matter makes me so conflicted.
Reply:
Since you want to forgive her, just give her a chance and don't always take things from the past and "cut corners". You talk about it in front of her every day like this, and she probably won't forget it if she wants to. Based on what you said, she has the determination to salvage her relationship, but this requires your cooperation. Don't hold onto the other party for doing something wrong. If you really feel overwhelmed, it's a big deal to get divorced. But you can't let it go anymore, always thinking about her mistake. Aren't you torturing yourself?
What needs to be done now is to re-establish trust between couples, which may be a bit lengthy, but since you choose to forgive, you need to be patient. Spending this sensitive period with her will bring unexpected rewards. With love as the foundation, restoring intimate relationships is not difficult. Firstly, let her accept you psychologically, and if she becomes psychologically dependent on you, there will naturally be a close relationship between husband and wife. Then, she won't reject you like she does now. The reason why she rejects you now is because you haven't given her the opportunity to buffer her emotions. When her heart settles in this home, other problems will also be easily solved. The premise is that you love her and believe that she also loves you. You have full expectations for her and this family, rather than being full of doubts about life all day.
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
