Post Date December, 03 2023
I have been married for five years, and since the end of last year, I feel like my husband has changed a person. His words and deeds have almost reached the point of metamorphosis
As long as he has time, he will constantly torture me at night and force me to do things he doesn't want to do in bed. However, he doesn't play with those things that are really love between men and women. He just plays with me and even tied me up and wrapped me up with the sheets on two occasions... When I have a period on my body, he becomes even crazier. I really can't stand him anymore. I feel like he's retaliating against me. If I don't agree with him, he said I ate outside
I'm confused, don't know what to do? It's not easy to talk to anyone. Everyone outside thinks I have a problem with him, because a year ago, I lost my head for a moment and accidentally had a relationship with my colleague after drinking some wine. He is now taking revenge on me for this matter, and both he and my family know about my cheating. Even if I say it, no one is on my side. Is there only one way to divorce in this situation? "I can't live through a day now, and I don't want anyone to understand me. I just hope I don't suffer like this anymore.". Please help me analyze it. What should I do?
Re:
Obviously, your husband is taking sexual revenge for your past mistakes. Sexual retaliation is often the beginning of a person's sexual and psychological abnormalities. If measures are not taken to stop it in a timely manner, the consequences will become increasingly serious.
Here is a case where her husband was originally a very honest and conscientious man. At first, he would take the initiative to make sexual requests to his wife once or twice a week, but for various reasons, his wife always refused her without hesitation. Later, at the instigation of a friend, the husband took a crazy sexual revenge on his wife, and in serious cases, he even asked two other men to help him take photos. Later, she decisively collected relevant evidence and filed for divorce with the court.
Therefore, the safest and most effective way to address your situation is to divorce. Because most men who enter a state of sexual retaliation, their behavior is difficult to stop through communication and education. Of course, you can also take communication solutions, perhaps you can try it out. According to your explanation, it is estimated that your husband's heart is still tied to your infidelity. He may have been deeply concerned about it, and the more he did not pursue it, the deeper it became. Therefore, the fundamental problem now lies in getting through his psychological work, so that he can truly see through and put it down. Otherwise, even if you get divorced, he may be very sad.
However, with all due respect, there are many reasons why men retaliate against women sexually. Generally, four types of women are most likely to attract sexual retaliation from their husbands:
One is a powerful woman who speaks well;
In modern society, a significant proportion of families are dominated by women, and men have been suppressed for a long time, with claims that cannot be expressed. "The children are all on the side of the wife, and even the matter of the couple's bed has to be decided by the woman.". However, this society is still dominated by male power after all. Even if such a husband can listen to you at home, he will inevitably be interfered by various aspects of society. He will inadvertently undergo changes in his thoughts. He will argue and won't win over you, his words won't receive more support, and even make money without you. However, he is most likely to put this kind of retaliation and demand for equality on the sex and bed of men and women. In the meantime, the deeper he represses, the more likely he is to become crazy. He will start from enjoying sexual rights in the name of a husband and wife, and do things he usually wants to do but cannot do. Of course, this is just a form of sexual revenge. Some people also resort to other forms of sexual revenge, namely, outright sex strikes, or sexual revenge by playing tricks on women and betraying each other. Because sexual retaliation is the most covert and powerful form of retaliation. There are already a lot of people who think of taking sexual revenge when they are "not satisfied" or when they cannot justify it.
Second, those who refuse their husbands' sexual demands for a long time;
Men are all carnivorous animals. When their sexual needs and sexual repression are not released in a timely and effective manner, especially when their wives always use excuses such as this or that to evade and refuse, they will become sensitive and even fantasize. They will be dominated by male hormones and do things they usually dare not do.
Therefore, although men are at fault for sexual retaliation, women also need to reflect. As a wife, you should have a sexual obligation to your husband. Men are not women, and their sexual needs are far higher than those of women. Sexual rejection is not an inexhaustible tool for women to manage men. When used more often, it becomes useless, leaving many sequelae.
Third, women with strong sexual desire;
The best language between husband and wife is the language of sex, through which one can learn information that was previously unknown. Every detail of sex often carries a sensitive feeler. However, it is a double-edged sword, which not only helps to let the other party enter your heart, but also makes it easy for the other party to discover your weaknesses and generate some distrust and suspicion towards you. "There is a man who feels his wife's extremely strong sexual desire through his sexual life with her, so he no longer goes to work outside the city, always strengthening his physical fitness, and buying many foods and drugs to tonify the kidney and enhance sexual function... All of this he has done has only one purpose - 'You can't make her wear a green hat even if you're desperate.'". To be honest, there are still many such men. Therefore, it is not difficult to explain the psychology of men taking sexual revenge because of women's strong sexual desire.
Fourth, a flirtatious woman with a soft nature.
For this last one, it is all too obvious. On the one hand, a man loves such a charming woman, but on the other hand, he doesn't trust her. He knows his wife better than anyone else. She is open, proactive, and frivolous, and she is accustomed to actively smiling at many men... And all of this can be a crisis of his man's dignity. In order to protect his own dignity, a man will easily think of taking the initiative to "attack". Aren't you a water-based poplar flower? Then I'll take care of you and "feed" you first.
In summary, sexual retaliation is a manifestation of men's pursuit of equality or higher male power. It exposes the animal nature of many men's thinking about sex, which is dangerous and tragic. It is also worth the attention of many female compatriots and needs continuous improvement.
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)
