Post Date December, 02 2023
Q:
What else can we do? My words now have no deterrent effect on my husband. He goes in one ear and out the other, and it's not a big deal. If he gets annoyed, he just says one thing. If he wants to pass, he can get divorced. I have no objection.
How can I divorce him? The house belongs to him, the car belongs to him, except for the money he transfers to my bank card every month. Sadly, everything we have feels like his premarital property. I can only blame myself for being too naive when I got married. I really thought love could be a meal, ignored the advice of my family, and didn't have any requirements for him. The house also didn't require a name.
Now, my friends and I feel completely different. I have been completely transformed into a woman by the daily necessities of marriage, and the radiance of the past has long been polished. In my friend's words, I feel like pearls have turned into fish's eyes. I am speechless every time. Look at them, dressed in fashionable attire. They are also in their thirties, walking on the street, shining brightly. My friends will never lose to the 90s generation girls in their twenties, and I mix in the crowd and cannot find them.
And the man who promised you to be responsible for being beautiful like flowers and me to be responsible for making money to support my family at the beginning, coaxed me to quit my job. Now, I have not kept my promise of love and have made betrayal a common occurrence.
I admit, I have faded, not as much as before, but with so many things at home, it's no easier than work. He is a man with a lot of requirements for food and clothing, his shirt is not straight and he doesn't wear it, the food is not delicious and he doesn't eat it. Every day, I change my ways to prepare food and drink for him, which is enough for me to keep busy for a long time. I am not a beauty expert now, but a true food expert. But in the past year or two, he has been eating less and less at home. Occasionally, I feel angry and don't cook, but when he comes home, he will make a nameless noise and accuse me of "starving him to death".
I am really aggrieved, but these grievances cannot offset the harm he caused me by his infidelity and betrayal. When he comes back from a business trip, there will be many women with internet celebrity looks in his WeChat contacts on his phone. At first, when I asked who these people were and how they met, he said they searched nearby, bored and playful. The chat records were all deleted, and those women usually don't chat with him. Although I feel uncomfortable in my heart, I can't ask him anything. Ask him to delete a few, he will also delete a few, but it's useless. As soon as he leaves this house, he will definitely have one again.
I became increasingly incredulous later on. He was just bored because he was clearly perfunctory towards me. The women's social circles were all very revealing photos, with particularly obvious hints. Some even had numbers, and I had always suspected that those numbers were priced. Later on, my guess was confirmed, and I added many women like him on his phone.
After chatting, I realized that most of them actually do "companion V tours"! Everyone is an adult, and I don't know what it's like to go on a V tour, no matter how foolish I am. I never expected it. I thought he had been married for a long time at most, and his feelings had faded before he showed no importance to me. I never expected him to play with women outside! I'm crazy about it! The result of arguing with him is that there is no result. He is not afraid of my divorce, and he knows that I have nothing left after divorce.
I only hate myself, deep down in my heart, I have always been unwilling to accept him becoming the way he is now. He was really a very nice and considerate husband back then, and I want to find him back. What can I do?
Answer:
Facts have proven that sacrificing oneself for marriage is never pleasing. You should first be good for yourself and then for others. To make others love you, you must first love yourself. Your husband loves you because he loves the way you looked before getting married, wearing a short skirt and high heels, not the way you looked after getting married.
In other words, your husband needs a wife, not a nanny. So you can't blame your husband for not having enthusiasm for a nanny like person. (Don't worry about what men say, you need to know what you should do.)
Of course, it should be prohibited for your husband to play with women outside, as these behaviors have seriously harmed you. And your complaint did not attract his attention and change because he believed that you had lost your voice in this family.
What you need to do now is not self blame or anger. You should adjust your mindset, change your lifestyle, and become a vibrant woman again.
