Post Date December, 02 2023
Everyone has similarities and differences in their psychology, and the same goes for married couples. Otherwise, how could divorce occur? In fact, both genders fundamentally have different psychological states. In marriage, couples need to blend in these different things in order to enjoy a harmonious life. Here, we refer to the psychological meaning of couples as "shelf life psychology". As long as quality is guaranteed, a harmonious marriage can be achieved. Here, let's take a look at what psychological thoughts both men and women have when facing the shelf life of marriage!
Women are more concerned about marriage 'expiration'
Women's concerns stem from the reality of marriage. According to a large-scale public opinion survey report on the revision of the Marriage Law by the All China Women's Federation in previous years, 8.2% of the population in China engaged in extramarital sexual activities, which means about 100 million people have extramarital sexual activities. Extramarital affairs have become a fatal obstacle in marriage. However, the proportion of extramarital affairs initiated by men is three times higher than that of women. Therefore, it is logical that women are more concerned about the future of marriage than men.
Women prefer marriage to never expire
Secondly, evolutionary psychology suggests that in many species, females invest much more in their offspring than males, and so do we as humans. Men only invest a few minutes in offspring reproduction, while women need to conceive in October, breastfeed their children, and take care of their children for three to five years. The greater the investment in a common cause, the more loyal they are, which is why women are more inclined to ask "how far is forever".
Similarly, in order to maximize reproductive benefits, men hope to have more opportunities to engage with the opposite sex; And women tend to have a stable marriage relationship as a guarantee for their children's upbringing and their own safety, which also determines that women pay more attention to the future of marriage.
LELO reminder: Marriage quality needs to be jointly maintained by couples
Research on gender psychology has shown that men's sense of self-worth comes from self definition and possesses "instrumental psychological traits". So men place more emphasis on career achievements, work abilities, high positions, salary, etc. Men rely on career achievements and their abilities to build self-esteem, while marriage and family are only a part of a man's life. Therefore, men generally rarely take the initiative to improve their relationships or are more likely to end a relationship than women.
The source of women's sense of self-worth is the relationship of love, which possesses "emotional psychological traits". So women value intimate relationships and prove their worth through love connections, and marriage and family often make up the majority of their lives. Therefore, the vast majority of books on gender relations in the world are written by women, and 80% of buyers are also women.
In intimate relationships, it is easy to be passionate, difficult to be infatuated, easy to love, and difficult to stay together. As both parties in a marriage, maintaining a harmonious relationship requires joint efforts from both parties. Both spouses need to understand each other's personality traits, emotional needs, culture of their original family, and so on, in order to jointly deposit money for emotional accounts. Emotional accounts are like real bank accounts, where the more you invest, the more you can withdraw.
In order to deposit in the emotional account of an intimate relationship, both parties need to learn some strategies for maintaining the relationship and take corresponding actions and activities. Men should be praised, women should be coaxed, men should be worshipped, and women should be pampered. Men should understand women's desire for relationships and actively provide satisfaction and commitment. Women should understand the emotional needs of men and provide corresponding affirmation and support.
Both spouses should take friendly and pleasant actions together, attempting to make their interactions enjoyable; Encourage the other party to express their thoughts and emotions, and discuss the quality and expectations of their relationship; Expressing love and loyalty to the other party, emphasizing commitment; Spend time together for activities and more. Only in this way can we stay away from the hidden obstacles of marriage and create a happy and long-lasting marriage life.
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
