Is it considered spiritual infidelity if I have a close relationship with my junior high school junior

My husband and I have been married for four or five years and have two children. In the past few years of marriage, our relationship has fluctuated from good to bad, and when we don't argue, it's okay. However, due to many trivial matters in life, many times we still argue. Sometimes after a quarrel, he will say particularly hateful words, and sometimes he will use dirty words. I usually don't use dirty words very often, so I also have a special aversion to him using dirty words. I have mentioned it to him many times, but he never changes. Also, he has a habit of smoking, drinking, and gambling. He has also said that he has not changed countless times, and he does not care too much about children!

Recently, he and I have not had any arguments, but I recently met a junior high school student, who is one year older than me. Both of them are junior high school students. When I graduated, he was in junior high school, and he didn't know each other before. He is now a sports car driver. A while ago, I went to the city on business, and when I got home, I took his car and chatted casually all the way. He and several of my junior high school classmates are from the same village. After chatting with him this time, I feel like I often remember him. We added WeChat to each other and sometimes chatted casually. "He said that he was very happy to chat with me. I haven't talked with him these days, and I have a sense of loss in my heart. I feel like chatting with him is like chatting with an old friend or girlfriend, but I have only known him for over twenty days.". Brother Shan, is it normal for me to do this? Are you too dependent on him?

Sometimes, if I don't even know how to confide in my husband, I will confide in him. If he has any worries, I will also confide in him. I will try my best to comfort him. He says that he is happy to chat with me, and I will inexplicably care about his hobbies to see if he and I have common interests. I just regard him as a close friend, but I also feel that I am a bit confused about him. Actually, I am a very traditional person, Would it be so sorry to my husband? Will it affect my family? Do I count this as mental infidelity? Could you please give me some directions. Thank you, Brother Shan!

reply:

For a woman, if she often feels that her marriage is not happy, that her husband and wife often quarrel, and that her life is very stressful, it is easy to instinctively avoid her marriage, and intentionally or unintentionally seek comfort outside of marriage. This is a psychological need for compensation based on emotional imbalance, and it is sometimes understandable. However, if this state of affairs is not adjusted and allowed to develop in a timely manner, it will undoubtedly put yourself on the brink of danger. Fortunately, you are still relatively sober now, and it is rare for you to be able to promptly realize that there are signs of something wrong with yourself.

In fact, you don't have to be too nervous. As a good friend of the opposite sex, it's not a sin to have a good conversation. As long as you keep each other within the normal range of communication, there's nothing wrong with it. However, from your reaction, it is clear that after meeting this junior high school student, you have somewhat lost control of your emotional floodgates, and it seems that you have found a state of love. His position in your heart seems to have transcended the boundaries of ordinary friends, even boyfriends. This requires you to remind yourself to keep a distance from the other party and not stray and lose the bottom line under the impulse.

Therefore, if you still particularly want to safeguard the interests of your family and care more about your husband, it is best to maintain the necessary distance from this junior student, and it is best to disconnect from each other to prevent you from really falling into mental infidelity. After all, the relationship between you and your husband is not close enough. If your husband finds out about your relationship, it will inevitably lead to his suspicion, which will cast a shadow over your marriage and even lead to its breakdown.

The reason why you are in this situation is because you are not satisfied with your current marriage and are disappointed with your husband. However, we cannot escape the reality. If marriage is not satisfactory, we need to face it and find ways to work hard and achieve change. Don't always harbor the idea of complaining about each other. You also need to constantly reflect and improve your own behavior. Use your tolerance and maturity, a little more patience and wisdom, and improve the relationship bit by bit, ultimately achieving a happy marriage. To put it a step further, even if this marriage cannot last until the end, then if you try your best, you won't regret it. You can choose to get together and leave, but don't make low-level mistakes that shouldn't have been made during the marriage.