Post Date December, 03 2023
Not long after I met my husband, I told him I wasn't a virgin. I am a person with a relatively open mind and don't want to hide anything. My husband said he wouldn't mind, even though he was a virgin himself. I was moved by my husband's tolerance and generosity. I knew he truly loved me, and soon we entered the palace of marriage.
But now our lives are being influenced by the fact that I am not a virgin.
My husband said that when he was with me, he felt deeply happy and incredibly happy. He never remembered or had time to remember that I was not a virgin; But once we separate, when he is free or idle after lunch, he will think of it and feel a bit down; Especially when listening to and watching TV discussing these topics, or when his colleagues are boasting about their virgin girlfriend or discussing such things, he will become sensitive and uncomfortable in the heart.
My husband said that he didn't think he was a person with a virgin complex at the beginning. But he doesn't know why, what he didn't care about at the beginning will become more and more important now. He also dislikes his own mentality and wants to restrain himself from thinking, but this matter always comes out unintentionally, becoming an obstacle to our happiness.
My husband said, 'I am the first girl who truly captivates him, engages him, and makes him love with all his heart.'. I am his true first love. If he didn't love me so much, if he wasn't a virgin and had rich love experience, perhaps he would feel better due to his balanced psychology.
My husband said that men have a mentality of conquering women and seeking face. Sometimes, he feels like I'm leading him by the nose. When he's still immersed in the joy of love, I think of marriage. When he's enjoying the happiness of marriage, I think of having children. In terms of love, he sometimes feels that I'm more experienced and mature than him, so he sometimes feels a bit embarrassed.
I really don't know what to do? How can I help him? How can I hold onto a happy marriage?
I hope you can give us some advice and help our poor lovers.
reply:
Hello, it should be said that every man has a more or less virginity complex, and this concept is deeply rooted. If a man says he doesn't care if you are a virgin, then he is either lying to you or lying to himself. However, caring comes from caring. As a man in the new era, facing the development of the times, our ideological concepts should also keep up with the times, and we should dare to adapt and face the current trends and reality. Obviously, your husband has not yet overcome the misconception of traditional dross culture, that is, he has problems in his behavior, saying and doing things that are inconsistent and insincere.
You should know that when it comes to premarital love, as you said, you have already told him you are not a virgin, but he still pretends to be indifferent. When he is a broad-minded man, he actually doesn't know how to struggle and feel. This may be the root of a man's bad nature. To be honest, your husband is quite hypocritical.
For such a cautious man, you don't need to appease him, after all, the problem is not with you, it's his lack of appetite. If you love him very much and don't want to lose him, and he really can't overcome the psychological barrier, it's best to take him to see a psychologist, and let the experts find ways to adjust and guide him through psychology to see if they can solve this problem. Can't we find him a virgin to satisfy his balance and let him experience it?
In short, if two people truly love each other, and if they really love you enough, it shouldn't be a problem. A big man who always takes the issue of his own daughter-in-law and can't get over it, isn't it embarrassing for a man. So, you don't have to get used to him. Tell him that if you always care about this, then we really can't get over it. It's immature for you to think like this all the time. I hope you can reflect on yourself well. After all, we truly love each other. As long as our hearts are together, is that physiological membrane really that important? Don't you get my heart more precious than anything else? I believe that if your husband is a reasonable man, he will gradually awaken and accept you well.
