I broke up with my boyfriend due to a fight, and what if I don't feel safe after getting back together?

I've been talking to my boyfriend for two years. I'm from XX, and he's from XX. I am 18 years old and he is 20 years old. We were together on July 15th, 2015. During this period, we split hands twice. One time, my family disagreed, and I couldn't bear the pressure and proposed to break up. Later, we made up again soon; Once, when we were together for almost a year, we had a fight and a woman comforted her. He promised the woman to be her boyfriend. We broke up, perhaps because he couldn't stand the woman's temper. "I've been waiting for him, and then I made up again. After making up, I felt insecure and always suspicious, until now.". His girlfriend has said a lot to me, but I don't know whether to believe it or not. I'm very confused.

In August of this year, he celebrated his birthday in XX, while I was in XX. At that time, there was a typhoon that happened to happen on his birthday. There was a famous typhoon, and I couldn't accompany him on his birthday without a car passing by. That night, the woman sent me a message saying that she was helping my boyfriend hold a birthday party. That day, my boyfriend accompanied her all day, and in the evening, she went to the hotel to open a room. She also sent me their group photos, which made me feel very uncomfortable.

"I asked my boyfriend, who said she was trying to alienate our relationship, and we made up then.". From then on, I felt very insecure in my heart. As long as I called him and he didn't answer or hung up, I would keep calling until he answered. Yesterday, I called him, but he hung up and said he would call me later. My mind was full of thoughts again. After a while, he called me, and I've been asking him why he hung up just now and why he'll call me again later? He kept saying he was lying in bed and I wanted to open a video to him, but he accepted. "I asked him if he was sleeping on his own, and he said yes. Then he turned his phone around and showed me around. He hung up on the video.". "I called him and his phone was turned off, and I instantly understood. If I apologized to him, he didn't respond to me. I called him around 10:00 this morning, but he didn't answer the phone or answer the text message. I kept calling and he always hung up.".

"I called him and hung him up. Later, he sent me a message saying when I would change it. He said he was bored enough and his entire family didn't agree to our being together.". But I've been to his house, and his parents don't seem to hate me. I stayed at their house that night because I didn't have a car to go back. I shared a room with my boyfriend and left the next afternoon. I washed dishes and mopped the floor at their house. When I left, his mother said that I would have time to play. But just now he said that his family did not agree. What should I do?

"Because of yesterday's incident, he said it's all right.". Please help me! Another thing is that we met when we were working as waiters in a restaurant for two years. Then when we were together, he didn't do it for two months. Since then, he hasn't had a job, and he doesn't want to go home. I've been making money to support him. I'm afraid he's hungry, so I save my own food money every day and pass it on to him through WeChat. Please teach me what to do?

[Reply]

From your letter, it can be seen that you love your boyfriend more than he loves you. You really care that he loves him very much, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't continue to wait for him to choose to stay with him after each separation, and if he doesn't go to work, worry about him, give him money, or be afraid of him starving. But does your boyfriend love you? Do you care? You need to ask yourself well. After he quarreled with you, he went to seek comfort from another girl. It can be seen that he is not mature enough and is also very sentimental, indicating that he does not care about you so much. "Even when he was with that girl on his birthday, although he didn't admit it, the group photo that that girl sent you about them was not fake.".

So, why do you feel insecure about him now? It's because he's really not doing well enough. Another reason is that he's lazy, doesn't work to make money, and lacks a sense of responsibility. For such a boy, how can any girl get a sense of security when she is with him?

What can I say? Actually, it's no wonder. I think you're still too young, especially if you're just 18 years old, and he's only 20 years old. Originally, your age is just the stage of studying, learning, and learning skills. You should fully enrich yourself, improve yourself, and lay a solid foundation for future life. Great youth should not be in a hurry to talk about love, nor should it prematurely immerse oneself in the twists and turns of emotions, making oneself physically and mentally exhausted.

Based on this, regarding the gains and losses of love and the ups and downs of emotions, at this age, it is not necessary to take it too seriously. After all, you still have a large future and maintain a good attitude. Now that you have experienced and experienced it, you should cherish it if you have a good relationship. If it is not satisfactory, it is better to let go as soon as possible. Why do you make yourself so embarrassed and unbearable. "You know, your future path is still long, and it's necessary to let yourself understand how to grow and mature. This is just a small setback on the emotional path, and it's no big deal.".

As a girl, you should always remember that no matter how much you love someone, you should remain sober in your relationships, grasp your sense of propriety, don't lose yourself for love, and don't worry too much about gains and losses. Girl, I feel like you may be really too kind to your boyfriend. If it's good, it can make him feel pretentious, arrogant, or even dismissive. "Look at his attitude towards you now, and you can see how much he cherishes and appreciates you. I don't feel like he does. He just has antipathy and impatience towards you.".

Of course, I don't know what kind of girl you are in life? Do you also have bad habits that your boyfriend can't bear, such as being too clingy, being too possessive, being too sensitive and suspicious? If so, adjust yourself carefully and try not to develop paranoia. Even if you don't trust someone, you don't need to waste time monitoring them anytime and anywhere. If you love them, you need to trust them, as men can't stand it, You have the energy to re choose someone who can reassure you. The simple way to gain a sense of security is to love yourself well, not rely on anyone, maintain an independent spirit, and build strong self-confidence.

Having said so much, I hope you can understand that you need to step out of your own shackles and not take the relationship in front of you too seriously. It's not something you want to cherish that you can definitely achieve smoothly. If you try your best, it's all right. A compromise relationship can only hurt you in the end. Perhaps your boyfriend wants to break up with you, but he just needs to find a reason for himself. Or maybe he is playing hard to get, using this trick to get rid of your control over him, have his own space, and let him enjoy his emotional world more freely.

It's up to you to make your own decision about where to go!