I am responsible for making money to support my family, and my wife takes care of children full-time. She feels bored and seems to be cheating

I can't choose my birth, but my future is my own. Since I was sensible, I have known that our conditions are inferior to others. The father works alone outside, the mother takes medicine all the year round, and there are many brothers and sisters in the family, which costs a lot. Among our brothers and sisters, I am the youngest, so I am the only child in our family who graduated from college. My brothers and sisters dropped out of school to work to support me when they only went to junior high school or high school.

After graduation, my family entrusted someone to introduce me to my girlfriend, who is my current wife. Half a year after marriage, my wife became pregnant and stayed at home to raise a baby. The rent outside is too expensive. I rented a bed in the dormitory and started my work trip. I have been going home for three years, and I have gone home four times during this period: once for the birth of a child and once for the three Spring Festival. The child was three years old in a twinkling of an eye, and was not close to my father at all. Every time I go home, I have to communicate with her for a long time before I am willing to call my father.

Because of our unstable relationship and long-term separation, I am worried that my wife will cheat. After three years of struggle, I settled down outside, rented a room and a hall, and picked up my child and wife. This is something I have been looking forward to for a long time. I thought she would be as happy as me, but it is not the case. She is not as excited as I expected, and she doesn't adapt to the new environment.

She takes care of her children and does housework at home every day. She is in a bad mood at all. As soon as I get off work, she will complain to me about being confined in the house all day, which is very boring. She will play mahjong and study in her hometown. I took her to the chess and card room downstairs in our community and let her play cards when she was bored. Now my wife has formed a habit. When I am not at home at work, she will take her child to the chess and card room to play cards. In the evening, the child will tell me: Uncle XX is very good to me and often buys me delicious food!

I'm worried about the childlike innocence of children. Why would others buy food for children for no reason? Now my wife is at home all day. What should I do if I get lonely and cheat. Although we have been married for three years, our relationship is not so deep. Recently, I found that she always likes to play with her mobile phone. I want to check if there is any secret hidden from me in her mobile phone. Am I a little worried about this? How can I adjust this psychology?

Reply from the consultant:

Feelings can only become more solid after being washed by wind and rain. As soon as you were born, the conditions at home are not good. In order to live, you have to leave your hometown to work for three years. Your wife takes care of the house with her children at home, and there is no complaint during this period. Three years later, she moved to live with you, but she became more bored. This is because of the change of environment, which makes her unable to adapt. In her spare time in her hometown, she can find someone to talk to. In big cities, she hardly knows each other from door to door. She naturally feels bored.

Taking children to the chess and card room has a bad effect. You can communicate with each other. For the sake of your child, I believe she will accept your suggestions. Don't doubt your wife until you have sufficient evidence. The relationship between you is not deep. You are producing a sense of distrust on her, and the distance between you will become farther and farther. Interact more with her wife to close the distance between husband and wife, and the relationship is improved. Her heart is naturally whole-hearted in this family. I wish you happiness.