Husbands should not act as the culprit of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Just getting married involves a lot of family matters, which can make young couples feel overwhelmed. Especially for those spoiled wives who suddenly have to face their unfamiliar mother-in-law, it is inevitable that they may feel a bit uncomfortable. As the only bridge between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the husband's responsibility is even more significant. A mistake may lead to conflicts between the daughter-in-law and mother, and it can also drag oneself down and often suffer from the problem of being "trapped".

For those husbands who don't want to be trapped, if they want to have both the deep love of their mother and the passionate love of their wife, then take a look at these suggestions!

Daughter-in-law Chapter

Thinking from a different perspective and gaining a better understanding of mother-in-law

As the saying goes, 'Marry your wife and forget your mother,' this is the 'heartfelt voice' of many mother-in-law. As a wife, it is important to remember that before you marry your husband, your mother-in-law is the closest woman to him. After getting married, Leng Buding ran out to a younger woman like you and took away her son, which would definitely bring a great sense of loss to her mother-in-law's heart. This requires you, as a daughter-in-law, to empathize, understand your mother-in-law's psychology, spend more time with her husband, and relieve her sense of loss.

Sincerely treating each other and remembering one's own role

After marriage, as a daughter-in-law, the title of mother-in-law has changed to "mother", but you must not treat mother-in-law as your own mother. It seems like a bit of a provocation to say so, but in fact, it's not. Imagine, which daughter is not fussing, talking nonsense, big or small in front of her mother? But when facing your mother-in-law, you must not really think that she will unconditionally tolerate and dote on you like her own mother. If you continue to be so stubborn, it will naturally trigger unnecessary conflicts, leading to the deterioration of the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship and making it difficult for the husband to do so.

Grasp one's passion with grace and grace

As a newlywed, it is inevitable that there will be some intimacy between the couple, but remember to be too close to your husband in front of your mother-in-law, otherwise it will make her jealous and even feel frivolous; Also, do not judge or judge your husband in front of your mother-in-law. Imagine that your husband is a treasure in the eyes of his mother, and being called and drank by such an "outsider" like you naturally causes heartache. So, in front of your mother-in-law, you must leave enough face for your husband to balance her heart, and at the same time, it is not advisable to have too many intimate gestures.

Diligent and frugal housekeeping "caters" to the consumption concept of mother-in-law

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not only have a generation gap, but also have significant differences in their consumption perspectives. Older people tend to prioritize frugality, while younger people prefer to enjoy and pursue fashion, which naturally makes mother-in-law feel that their daughter-in-law's consumption philosophy is "burning money". In the face of such situations, the daughter-in-law should not attempt to change her mother-in-law's values. To avoid such conflicts, you can discount the true price of the purchased items according to her psychological tolerance, so that her mother-in-law will not consider you a loser.

In addition, as a daughter-in-law, occasionally adding items to the elderly to satisfy their sense of vanity can not only make the elderly feel your love, promote the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also add luster to their husband's face.

Husband Chapter

Clear distinction between right and wrong, avoid "parents who are all right in the world"

Under the influence of thousands of years of feudal ideology in China, "filial piety" has become a supreme virtue and the most powerful shackle of patriarchal society. Therefore, many husbands ignore the contradictions between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, blindly believing that their parents are always right and believing that this is "filial piety". Especially when my mother is wronged, she always talks about the phrase 'all parents in the world', which leads to a high level of resentment from her wife and inevitably leads to arguments between husband and wife.

In fact, in this situation, men should take a fair stance in maintaining family harmony in order to prevent the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law from escalating and break free from the constraints of the "splint".

Take on heavy responsibilities and proactively wean oneself

Before getting married, men always thought they were the good babies of their parents, and even refused to live alone with their parents on the grounds of "I need to take care of them". And after marriage, just like before marriage, we live a life where we can reach out for clothes and open our mouths for food. As a mother, she can naturally tolerate her son's "capriciousness" and hopes that her daughter-in-law will take over her duties and continue to serve her son. Imagine, which girl would like to serve as a paid nanny after marriage? Therefore, as husbands, only your maturity can bring about sexual happiness in marriage and family harmony.

Facilitating and guiding communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

After marriage, as a husband, one should take the initiative to help his wife integrate into their own family, avoid picking on his wife in front of his parents, and not randomly lecture his wife to appease their parents' grievances. This not only does not ease the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship, but also makes his wife increasingly distant from his family. In addition, as a husband and son, never become the microphone of a mother and wife, thinking that this way you can get rid of family disputes, but unexpectedly becoming the direct trigger of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Rubbing a little friction into a "big spark" and even forming a "beam" that can never be undone, the ultimate result is to put the messenger man into deep water and heat to endure.

Borrowing flowers as a gift to Buddha, leaving the opportunity for his wife, the villain himself

When dealing with mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationships, a smart husband always gives his wife the opportunity to be a good person. Usually, showing filial piety to parents for things they buy or things that can please them, along with letting their wife come forward, will make parents more fond of their daughter-in-law; When faced with parents interfering in their small family affairs recklessly, as a man, he must confidently argue and discuss with his parents, and never push his wife to the forefront of the storm and bear the curse of being a "shrew" or "wicked daughter-in-law".

Love must be respected in front of parents

In a patriarchal society, many men tend to have some kind of "old man" mentality, especially in front of their parents. They often show their authority over their wives, bossing and domineering towards them, in order to show their mothers that they can "control" their wives and satisfy their vanity of "my son is very capable"! This can make the wife feel disrespected and psychologically unbalanced.

Some men ignore it and often argue with their wives in front of their parents, while those who protect their children will naturally step out and stand by their sons, transforming the "internal conflicts" into complex "mother-in-law daughter-in-law conflicts", thereby affecting the relationship between husband and wife.

From this, it can be seen that if a man wants to break free from the "splint", he must understand that he has completely different love for two women, one is family affection, and the other is love. They are not antagonistic, let alone an either or equation. The main culprit causing the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is likely to be you, who are both husband and son. To better solve these two "irreconcilable contradictions", the key is whether one has put in effort and true love.

So, if a man wants his wife and parents to coexist peacefully under the same roof, while showing filial piety to his mother, he should also express his love for his wife in front of his parents. She will not only cherish your marriage twice, but also treat your parents kindly as a result. Your parents will also consider your respect for your wife and treat your daughter-in-law with a different eye. Of course, the most important thing is that you can also get rid of the "splint" and enjoy a free and sweet life.

(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)