Post Date December, 03 2023
[Question]
My husband and I have a strong emotional foundation. We have been together for seven years, dating for two years and getting married for five years. We now have two children.
I used to feel ordinary and work separately, but since last year, my marriage has been on the blink of an eye. Every month when I come back, I check for messages from women, some of which are light and some are ambiguous. I have been arguing about this for several times. In business, he is gradually getting on the right track. Perhaps it is due to social reasons that he has cheated countless times. Once I meet again, I argue about those ambiguous information, which makes him even more disgusted with me. This year, he even became exhausted due to an ambiguous information.
I also reflected on myself, and it was true that I was not gentle and considerate enough. I only cared about him and did not go to his side to help him (because the child was young and no one was taking care of him, I could only stay at his mother's house. If I went to help him work, the child would no longer be disciplined). It was inevitable that he would cheat, but now that he rarely returns home and shows me this situation, I can't bear it. After discussing with him, he actually said which man doesn't steal? It's not about taking it home. Currently, I don't have any (admitting to cheating and still making excuses). I said a lot of excuses for myself, but I asked him, 'Is it necessary for the third person to come to my door to make the situation serious?'? He only said he didn't have a bag and didn't play.
I am really angry and will argue again. Now I am not pestering the woman he has eaten, but his current mindset is that stealing food is normal. This attitude and mindset have disappointed me. I also plan to go to his side next year, but I have doubts every day, making me restless, and he is not around. I feel all kinds of entanglement in my heart, afraid that he won't return home at night.
Why are women so difficult? I have to endure the elderly when raising my own children, and also reflect on whether my mistake caused him to cheat. I am really tired and confused about the future. I really want to divorce, but the child is innocent, and I can't be too selfish. My personality is very hot, but in order to keep him, I am enduring and changing. I want to continue and fear that he will betray me endlessly. What should I do?
Answer
Is it necessary for him to confide in you the details of the external scenes in detail to show his love for you? Can knowing what happened to a man outside with another woman really make your heart feel better? no The answer is that you will only be more uncomfortable, confused, and at a loss than you are now.
The one who is concerned about gains and losses in emotions is a typical manifestation of fear of loss, and also the one who is at a disadvantage in overall qualities such as charm and personality (or self-awareness and lack of confidence) - in simple terms, it means having a feeling and realizing that they are not worthy of their other half, resulting in excessive worry and suspicion, a strong sense of unease, fear of betrayal from the other party, having other choices, and leaving oneself. To overcome this mentality, one must constantly adjust oneself, digest inner worries, and transform suspicion and suspicion into a powerful driving force for one's own charm.
You can't just let him prevaricate. When you encounter a man with such a robber logic, making noise is useless. Only more clever methods can solve the marital crisis. Otherwise, his extramarital behavior will not be corrected and he will not go home for a long time. You won't even have a partner to argue with, so you can only endure it. Living in anger and resentment should not be the current state of life that you and your child have.
