Post Date December, 03 2023
The relationship with my husband has always been very good. Recently, my husband often expressed his desire for extramarital affairs and always talked about this topic with me in bed. Perhaps the marriage has entered a period of mediocrity. Although there are no conflicts between us, he feels bored and wants to find excitement. He still seems to love me and my daughter very much, and admits that I am still young and beautiful, and a good wife and mother. But he said, as a man, I am the only woman in my life and feel at a loss.
I asked him why he still wants another woman since he loves me. He replied, 'Why do you have so many clothes and still need to buy new ones? Buying new ones doesn't mean you don't like old ones anymore.' I think this is just nonsense. How can these two be confused. He always said that even if he had another woman, he would still prioritize me and my daughter, and I don't believe his words. He doesn't have any other women yet, but he always talks to me about this topic. What is his psychology behind it? Do men have to follow the trend of finding mistresses to reflect their value? I really can't figure it out. Is there a problem with our relationship? Or is there a problem with our marriage?
Reader's Letter
KEVI Reply:
If a man is determined to engage in an extramarital affair, the "story" can happen at any time. Some people can resist temptation, while others crave temptation, and your husband clearly belongs to the latter. This is also the common aspiration of men all over the world, but most men are not as straightforward as your husband, and more men will rot these sincere words into their stomachs! And your husband will talk to you about these ideas, which at least explains two aspects:
He has a foolish impulse in his heart. But I haven't been able to execute it, either because I haven't encountered the right opportunities and people, or because it still hinders the moral bottom line. And you have never let go of expressing "understanding" and "agreement". As a man who loves his family, on the one hand, he has desires, and on the other hand, he is afraid of causing his wife and children to split in the future. Anyway, don't show any understanding of his thoughts here. It should be hinted at that as a father, the impact of his infidelity on his daughter is incalculable.
It indicates that your marital relationship is indeed very good. Usually, men only chat with their buddies or confidants about these most intimate thoughts. They can chat with you in bed, and in that most relaxed state, you are the person they are most willing to confide in. This is not easy, as long as a woman can let her husband talk to her about her feelings, she usually won't lose his love. Next, we need to continue to be his confidant, but remind him to consider the feelings of children and the elderly through "hints".
In addition, it is recommended that you check your husband's current social circle. Some men are not inherently bad and have strong resistance to temptation. Often, their social circle is full of infidelity, making them feel that if they do not embellish extramarital relationships, they are simply detached from the group. Of course, a man who can often talk about his desire to cheat with his wife has a lower chance of cheating. Because people's desires always need to find an outlet, speaking less often leads to more positive behavior. This requires you to become a more fresh wife based on his preferences.
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
