Post Date November, 17 2024
What should I do if I have a mistress? This is a headache for women, so what should we do if we have a mistress? Let me tell you later.
the other woman
Many people have a misconception about Buddhism, constantly urging themselves to let go, but what if they can't let go? This misreading becomes a form of self suppression. If our spiritual growth is to become Ah Q, then we have gone astray. What we truly need is more effective, beneficial, and useful solutions, whether in the short, medium, or long term.
One scene we often see in the news is that a man has an affair, and his wife drags the mistress onto the street to strip off his clothes and beat him up in order to vent her anger, or causes their whole family to be ruined. This feeling is very satisfying, but the cost is that your relationship is likely to be out of place. If you use this underworld approach, you feel happy and don't want to salvage your relationship, and you are willing to bear the legal consequences, then you need to realize that these are the costs you will have to pay, and you need to weigh whether this is reasonable or not. If you find out in the end that doing so doesn't have any good consequences, then I'm sorry, you'll have to think of another way.
In the medium or long term, you need to think: can I bring this relationship back? How can I solve it? How can I obtain what I want when facing harm? What should I do if the other party cannot provide me with the comfort I want now? Did I force him to provide me with these comforts, or did I want to be able to do it and one day he will take the initiative to comfort me?
These are things we need to figure out together, not just venting. As we often say, impulse is the devil. I'm not saying to suppress your impulses, but what consequences will your impulses bring to you? This requires a reasonable evaluation.
That's why we have a civilized society. A civilized society is not because we need civilization, but because if we are uncivilized, it will bring us greater negative consequences, which is why we have to go civilized. For example, the core reason why incest is taboo is that incest often produces foolish children, which cannot sustain race.
So, the fundamental question is how we can obtain the happiness we want in the best and most effective way. In this process, we have many strategic ways and methods. Is it just a moment of courage, or do we have thirty-six strategies? It all depends on one's abilities. We live in this world, and if you have the ability, you can get a better life. If you don't have the ability, especially in terms of emotional intelligence, you can't get it. This is a very cruel reality.
That's why we need to grow. Growth is because you are still very weak, and you need to grow into a Tyrannosaurus Rex so that you can have what you want and others cannot take what you want.
For example, when it comes to infidelity, we cannot sit idly by, but for example, if you want to capture a prey, you need to know its lifestyle, which path it often appears on, which corner we are most confident in shooting that arrow, etc. This requires waiting, finding the opportunity, finding the angle, understanding the other party, and understanding oneself, These jobs all require time.
Each of us must have our own unique killing skills to survive. What is your ultimate skill? What enabled you to win back in this environment? It's definitely not just about rushing straight up. We need to grow to be able to control the entire situation.
In other words, if you are not Wu Song, you can only run when facing a tiger. What ability do you have to subdue it? If you are powerless now, then I'm sorry, you can only be harmed by the tiger.
We need to develop some real abilities. For example, the ability to hide, the ability to stop losses. This is definitely not a simple way to admit defeat. When we are in a losing situation, on the weak side, we must learn how to deal with failure. Also, we need to be able to identify each other's weaknesses and have the ability to compete with them.
Among these necessary abilities, the first and foremost is to be able to control our emotions. Many times, we cannot truly communicate with each other because we often let them take on the emotions we cannot solve. Once you are able to handle your own anxiety, you can use a more advanced way to make the other person willing to communicate with you and create a need for them to be closer to you, rather than saying that all communication with them is squeezed out by squeezing toothpaste. This spontaneity is the most important core need in our communication.
So, the first ability to face a tiger is to take responsibility for yourself, to take on your own emotions, to control emotions, to control aura, to control the situation, to not be overwhelmed by this problem, and to have a very stable state. If you panic, you will work in a very instinctive way, that is, you will use some defense mechanisms that were not very successful in the past to work, and the result will be failure.
The second is that we need to be able to understand our own emotions and the deeper emotions behind the other person's emotions. This is equivalent to fighting a tiger, if the tiger plays the first move, I can know what he will do next. For example, if a man ignores you, you need to know, what kind of person does he ignore you? What is he going to do next? What are his deeper needs behind him? What is his true motivation behind each move? We all need to have insight, which will help us find the key to opening his heart, so that we won't be confused by his superficial tricks and can know how to apply the right medicine to the situation.
Thirdly, you need to be able to strategically seize the opportunity, know what the key point is, and use the appropriate method to poke the other party's point, so that the other party can be restrained. If you never hit the most painful part of the other person and move something that is not what the other person needs the most, then your moves are useless.
