Post Date December, 03 2023
My husband is 18 years older than me and comes from the countryside, doing business in the city. When I met him, I got divorced and had no children. He was widowed and had no children. I didn't consider the issue of his age, so I married him and had a son after marriage. My husband is a traditional rural man who takes good care of his siblings, and I can accept all of these. And I treated his siblings, nephews, and nieces like my own. I accepted my younger brother and his family staying, eating, and using me for a long time, but my husband just couldn't accept my family.
I have been married for eight years, and my mother and family have not taken advantage of me, but my husband just can't get along with them. He always says that my mother and family are stingy, my son was born without any lucky money, and he needs money to do business, but he didn't borrow money. So in my husband's mind, my mother's family cannot kiss him. He is always afraid that my mother's family will take advantage of him. I always feel wronged for my mother's family, so we often argue. There is too much difference in life between me and him. He has a narrow mind and never gives in to arguments. He always thinks he is reasonable, has poor recuperation and quality. As a typical rural old man, I really regret choosing this marriage. Want to give up but have a son, don't know what to do?
Ms. Zhou:
Marry a man who is 18 years older than you, or remarry. I wonder if you valued him or something when you married him, and were considerate and caring for others? Be tolerant and generous? Or treat you like a pearl in your palm? These marriages have not been reflected in your mouth, so what was the purpose of the hasty decision at the beginning? You are 18 years younger than him. Normally, the choice and space should not be limited to him alone, but you still chose him.
Ask yourself whether the longing and longing you had when you made the decision can still make you persist, and whether you are willing to endure the current contradictions and strive to resolve them in order to achieve this beauty. If you are willing, you can communicate well with your husband. There are objective reasons why he cannot get close to your family. His family has been living with him for many years, and there is a blood relationship and mutual assistance in life. This is "true affection"; And your mother and family, and if it weren't for you, your husband wouldn't have had any relationship with them, all he had was a 'due process'. It's really difficult for him to treat your family the way he treats his loved ones for a while. This is also related to your unreasonable expectations. If you want your husband and your family to get close, in the future, you should cultivate more of their emotions and take him back to his mother's house to see. Emotions are gradually developed through mutual contact.
Now you are gradually feeling the difference between you, which may be due to age or lifestyle habits. Some age factors may not be able to change, but do not attribute all differences to objective and personal powerlessness. This will only weaken your enthusiasm. If you can mobilize your enthusiasm to face the problems of marriage, your mentality will be sunny. How many marriages will you end in your life if you avoid and retreat when encountering marital problems?
