Sexual Health
Having a confidant of the opposite sex is a woman's right, which can bring me spiritual comfort
People who have confidants of the opposite sex have their own explanations: if they can indeed help me solve problems, if they can indeed bring me spiritual comfort, if we will definitely not engage in deviant behavior, dear, why do you care if we are of the same sex or of the opposite sex? In this era of unprecedented openness in understanding gender relations, the term 'opposite sex confidant' also appears with an unusually high frequency. Faced with the opposite sex confidante of her husband or boyfriend, a woman's attitude has shifted from judgment to choice.
Accepting or not accepting? Here, three female friends expressed their voices. I have always had a strong aversion to the words' opposite sex confidant '. Not only does it not allow him to have it, but I have also been trying to eliminate it myself. Because even when making friends with the same sex, people are willing to find what they like. If it's a friend of the opposite sex, the premise is that you like him. If one gradually becomes a confidant and frequently confides in each other, it is undoubtedly very dangerous. The opposite sex is always attracted to each other, and starting to be rational does not necessarily mean being always rational.
The more we chat together and have frequent opportunities to interact, the more we prove that they are attracted to each other. Who can guarantee that nothing will happen as a result?! Besides, what topics does he have that he can't talk to his wife and instead wants to talk to other women? The premise for both parties to choose marriage is mutual understanding and identification. My husband and I were first friends, then lovers, and finally chose to get married. So, I think we can come up with any topic or idea to talk about. We are the closest people in the world to each other, and what I cannot talk about, he will definitely not find anyone else to talk about.
Now the divorce demography is so high, because the society is more and more open, and there are more and more opportunities to contact the opposite sex, people's attitudes have also changed greatly, which is clearly the precursor of "extramarital affairs", and also put on the colorful clothes of "opposite sex confidants". Love is selfish, and I cannot allow my husband to share his thoughts with other women, because the result of that is: I share my husband with other women! From a human perspective, it is impossible for everyone to only like one person in their lifetime, and confidants do not need to be limited to the same sex. Perhaps we all have the experience of finding a confidant of the opposite sex to have a good conversation and exchange ideas when our emotions are upset and we want to relieve stress and vent our emotions, but we don't want to worry about our loved ones. It is very comfortable and rare to do so.
Some people may believe that having close relationships with confidants of the opposite sex can lead to deviant behavior. My attitude towards this is: firstly, I don't want such a thing to happen; Secondly, even if it happens, it depends on the nature. If they only occasionally deviate physically, and their hearts are still with me, no matter where they temporarily drift or dock, their hearts will only think of me in the end, and I can accept it. This is a bit similar to Thomas in 'The Unbearable Lightness of Life'. No matter who he is with, he actually only loves one person, and that is his wife: Theresa. However, it should be emphasized that the frequency of infidelity that most people can tolerate can only be "occasional", not "frequent", and I am no exception.
If your lover often does this, then don't hesitate, you should replace him. The reason why it is acceptable for men to occasionally deviate is because men can completely separate love and sex. A man who has sex with does not mean he loves anyone. If I really need to face a choice, I would rather choose the one whose body is unfaithful but whose heart still belongs to me. To be precise, I can accept that he has a confidant of the opposite sex, but I cannot accept his spiritual betrayal.
Both genders are attracted to each other due to differences. If my husband has a confidant of the opposite sex and doesn't deceive me, I believe that first of all, he has a healthy mentality and normal behavior; Secondly, he has unlimited charm; Thirdly, by interacting with the opposite sex, he will become more mature, understand women better, and understand the ways of getting along with them. As a result, I will benefit. Many women, when they see their husband interacting with other women, feel like they are facing a big enemy and nervously ask the truth. Even if they believe they haven't done anything deviant, they still hold the idea that this is a bad sign and they want to nip it in the bud. Finally, they say to their husband, "Forget it this time, don't have any dealings with her in the future
Actually, there's no need to do this. Don't you hear the saying 'cutting the knife and cutting the water makes the water flow more'? Since your husband chose to marry you, it proves that he loves you. But people have rebellious tendencies, and the more you intervene in things, the more likely they will try out of disgust. If you let it go, it may actually be okay, after all, he is not a child and has the ability to judge and restrain behavior, let alone he didn't want anything to happen in the first place! When people are young, they are not influenced by secular beliefs, and their choice of playmates is often not limited by gender. As long as they have fun, it doesn't matter whether they are of the same sex or the opposite sex.
As we grow up, we have the concept of gender differences in our hearts. Many people may unilaterally believe that dating friends of the opposite sex means falling in love, but this is actually a very absurd idea. Expert analysis: Having a heterosexual confidant is everyone's power and freedom. Everyone may have a heterosexual confidant, because having a heterosexual confidant is everyone's power and freedom. For the topic of "husband or boyfriend's confidant of the opposite sex", it is not whether you allow it or not, but whether you accept it or not. Do you accept it? There are no more than three ways of saying: 1. accept; 2. Not accepted; 3. It depends on the situation. Although the statements of the three female protagonists each have their own reasons, they also have different positive and negative outcomes. 'Unacceptable' - Crisis will erupt sooner or later
Among the three statements, this is the biggest problem. Firstly, Yihong showed a strong lack of confidence in her intimate relationship with her husband, and to a high extent, believed that having a confidant of the opposite sex would inevitably lead to an extramarital affair, which must be nipped in the bud; Secondly, Yihong used the words' not allowed 'to her husband in a tone that was too forceful and absolute. People who hold this view show that their mentality is very extreme.
2. Some topics are indeed suitable for talking to confidants of the opposite sex. Everyone is an independent and free individual, and if he wants to socialize with a confidant of the opposite sex, you can't stop him. So it's meaningless for you to say yes or no, you can only say yes or no. Furthermore, it is impossible for a person to only talk about emotional topics with their partner, such as their family and opinions on each other. At this point, having a confidant of the opposite sex communicate with them from different perspectives and ways of thinking is actually very helpful for everyone to understand and solve problems.
3. Yi Hong's potential marriage crisis will erupt sooner or later. It seems that Yihong has also brought her strength as a manager in the company into her daily life. If this continues, there will be many imbalances in their marriage relationship, and the other party's oppression will sooner or later erupt. So, for your lover, you can only get to know them and cannot control them. A relatively relaxed attitude is actually more conducive to the relationship between both parties. In addition, you should also try to make more friends with the opposite sex, which will broaden your mind and make your mindset less extreme, so you won't take the issue of opposite sex confidants so seriously. 'Discretionary' - confusing the concepts of heterosexual confidants and extramarital affairs
1. Lan Bing confused the concepts of opposite sex confidants and extramarital lovers. Because the term 'heterosexual confidant' we refer to here does not involve emotions, let alone any physical deviant behavior, while Blue Ice has relaxed the definition of 'heterosexual confidant', which indirectly reflects Blue Ice's vague understanding of heterosexual confidants.
2. The attitude of accepting 'occasional infidelity' is not easily tolerated. It's hard to imagine what their marriage is based on. If it's love, how can they accept the other person's infidelity? If it's only 'occasionally' as she said, how can we guarantee that this kind of thing only happens once it happens? So Blue Ice's attitude is not easily indulgent towards the other party, which is very dangerous. 3. The potential crisis in marriage comes from herself. She only accepts concepts and behaviors that she can accept when they happen to others. If his husband's views on confidants of the opposite sex are consistent with hers, they may not interfere with each other and coexist peacefully; If they are not consistent, then this difference in emotional beliefs is enough to ruin their marriage. 'Acceptable' - the healthiest mindset
1. Speak clearly and act with moderation. This statement is very healthy, indicating that such a mentality is very peaceful. However, I would like to remind you that when you speak clearly, you should also act with moderation. You cannot just say well, but act completely differently.
2. Accepting is not letting go. Neglecting the other person too much and making them unaware of your concern is also very dangerous. So, accept his heterosexual confidant, but at the same time, often exchange ideas with his husband, understand, pay attention to, and care for him, so that he knows that your concern has not decreased at all. As long as he is willing, the communication, understanding, and comfort he receives from his heterosexual confidant can be found in you. 3. Understanding and paying attention is a silent constraint. It should be noted that those who know how to be wives usually do not directly restrain their husbands, but use understanding and attention to achieve the goal of restraint. Because a man's reverse psychology is very heavy, if you restrict him too much, the result is likely to backfire; But your gentleness and thoughtfulness can serve as a restraining force, silently exerting its effects.