Post Date December, 03 2023
For women, having a true love, a warm home, and a child is enough. But my happiness is full of twists and turns
I was born into a family with a superior environment and grew up with the love of my parents. However, there were unexpected circumstances, and all the sweetness came to an end when I was 16 years old. That year, my mother left us in her sleep due to heart disease; My father also became melancholic because he missed his mother, and he left me four years later. At the age of 20, I transformed from a princess that everyone envied to a pitiful Cinderella, like a lonely little bird, flying around lonely.
At that time, I was still in school, and every time I had a vacation, I was always the last to leave school because I knew that what awaited me when I returned home was no longer the warm lights or the smiling faces of my parents, but just a cold lock. At that time, I felt like my heart was like an ice mound, but the sadness of my background did not extinguish my passion for life. I believe that one day I will come to terms with all my hardships. I have always had an expectation in my heart that one day I will find someone who loves me and build a warm and loving home with me
After graduation, I found a good job, and with my beautiful face, there were many people who introduced me to my boyfriend. The man they introduced was very good in terms of family and work, but I chose the only person from an average family background. Because I always feel that people from poor families lack a sense of security. After a mundane relationship, we began to discuss marriage. In fact, at that time, I didn't know if I loved him or not. I always felt like I was lacking something, but because I wanted to have a family too much, he became my husband.
But the trajectory of life is often difficult to follow our wishes, and I spent my wedding night in tears - he is not a real man! At that time, I really wanted to escape from my new house, the farther the better, but kind-hearted I stayed and I didn't want to ruin his future life. After seeking medical advice from multiple sources, his illness finally improved. But with the birth of my son, there are more and more household chores, and both companies are not very prosperous, sometimes even without any income. But we still have to pay off our mortgage every month, so we can only make ends meet with the support of our relatives and friends. At this point, he began to regret not finding a woman with a family background as his wife. Our argument escalated until he punched and kicked me every day, and even more so, he even used the money I earned from working to find a young lady! I am completely hopeless, but in order for my son to have a complete family, I have endured everything, but there is no sunshine in life!
Last year, I found a new job, but to my surprise, I encountered an unforgettable relationship there
I have met Lei, the manager of this company. He is easygoing and has the magnetic voice described in Qiong Yao's novels. He loves and cares for us very much, and I have been thinking that with such a thoughtful man as his husband, his wife must be very happy. Later on, I learned that Lei's home was in the south, and he worked here alone, which was not easy. I don't know why, but I vaguely feel that there must be some little-known stories behind this man. I can even feel the troubles in his heart. I wish he could be happy, did I fall in love with him? impossible! I told myself that the misfortunes of life have numbed me, and going to work - taking care of children - arguing is all I have in life. Gradually, I realized that when Lei and I were alone, we were always talking about his loneliness and sadness. When others arrived, he returned to his usual smiling face, which made waves ripple in my calm heart.
I have tried several times to nip everything that shouldn't have happened in the bud, but I cannot part with the long-awaited care and the joyful feeling of being with Lei. Finally one day, Lei spoke his heart and revealed his even more tragic background than mine. My heart hurts so much, I deeply know the taste, and I really don't want him to continue to endure that pain. I started to feel uneasy about sleeping and eating for Lei. I knew it was against ethics, but I couldn't control myself. At the same time, Lei's thoughtfulness towards me is the most precious wealth in the world for me. I don't want to be prosperous, I just want to have a love!
The time spent with Lei can be said to be the happiest day for me in 16 years. I love Lei with all my heart and desire, but he often says to me, "Don't be too devoted. I can't give you any promises, there won't be any results between us. I'm so afraid you'll be hurt!" But I don't care about anything. As long as I can see him every day and feel his love, that's enough. Even if one day my husband knew everything and killed me, I would have no regrets
Perhaps I came to this world to suffer, and my happiness is always so fleeting. Two months later, one day Lei suddenly told me that the headquarters had an intention to transfer him back to the south. Although the specific time was not yet known, this news was undoubtedly a bolt from the blue for me, and my mind was completely blank. But this is not the cruelest thing. Through gradual contact, I learned that Lei still has a woman, Mei, who is not his wife but better than his wife. For Mei's sake, Lei has filed for divorce with his wife! I always thought he said we had no results because he loved his children very much, but now it's because of another woman like me!
Afterwards, I saw Lei and Mei talking on the phone almost every day, and no matter how unhappy Lei was at the time, upon receiving Mei's call, his face would immediately show a sweet smile. I feel that Lei loves Mei very much, surpassing the love he gives me. While I was sad, I inexplicably felt relieved - I no longer had to worry about Lei like that in the future. He was not alone, and without me, he would still be happy and happy. At that moment, I couldn't understand myself. Was it because I loved him too much that I hoped he could get happiness and forget my pain?
From then on, Lei always casually talked about Mei in front of me, and even when he held me in his arms, he kept talking endlessly about the various benefits of Mei. And I just looked up and gently told him that I was sad, without any arguments. I know that our time together is running out, and any argument has lost its meaning. I only hope that many years later, when Lei thinks of me, he will understand my sincerity towards him! I live every day cautiously, cherishing every moment we spend together, always fantasizing that the things he transferred will change, but not only is everything not as beautiful as I thought, but it comes so suddenly that I can't believe it
Just a month ago, Lei convened an emergency meeting for everyone. At the meeting that day, Lei unexpectedly announced that this was his last meeting with everyone. After the meeting ended, he would immediately set off to return to the headquarters in the south! My heart was once again stabbed: what am I in his heart? From now on, everything will be different. He didn't even tell me such an important decision in advance, and didn't even want to give me a chance to say goodbye alone! I have imagined countless scenes of parting, but I never expected it to be like today. Watching Lei's gradually receding figure, my tears surged out like a flood breaking a dike. I was really willing to trade my lifetime of happiness for his affectionate look back, but I didn't. Lei walked towards his happiness and success
And although I feel unbearable pain in my heart, how can I bear to have my son endure the pain of not having maternal love like me? So I tell myself every day that perhaps Lei didn't want me to suffer more harm and chose to choose short pain over long pain, which is his good intentions. I think time can definitely soothe my pain.
I am still a little bird, although with pain, I will fly stronger on the unknown journey. Perhaps one day, decades later, on the street, I can meet the figure deeply engraved in my mind. Knowing that he has always been happy, I will also smile. Now, as long as I watch my son grow up healthy and happy, it is my greatest happiness.
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
