Post Date December, 03 2023
1. Don't be suspicious.
Don't assume that you know your lover's thoughts and feelings like the palm of your hand. Nine out of ten, you will make mistakes. In marital crises, it often occurs that the suspicion of stalking the wind makes both people angry, difficult to communicate, and ultimately the relationship breaks down.
Suggestion: Take a piece of paper and complete the sentence "I guess my spouse will think of me (to me)" intuitively. Then, verify the correctness of your guesses with your partner. As a result, you will find that many guesses are wrong. When in doubt, the best way is to ask him directly.
2. Don't take what your lover does for granted.
Expressing gratitude to a loved one is very important to eliminate three negative attitudes: a sense of entitlement, unrealistic expectations, and pretentious forgetfulness.
Suggestion: Write down the big and small things your spouse has done for you. Ask yourself if you have expressed gratitude for these things and how it is expressed. Keep expressing gratitude for a week, and you'll notice the changes.
3. Don't blame each other.
"It's all your fault!" "You asked me to do it, because of you, things got messed up!" Such complaints are easy to say. And words like "what responsibility should I take?" are rarely uttered. Complaining actually expresses accusations and threats, and the other party will naturally retaliate, leading to escalating conflicts.
Suggestion: Write down what you complain about your lover, then ask yourself, check your responsibilities, and finally discuss solutions.
4. Don't explain things carelessly.
"I now understand why you're so picky, you're like your father." Such seemingly understandable analysis of a lover's behavioral motivations can only lead to anger.
Suggestion: First understand the reasons for your anger, learn to listen to your partner's views in an open and loving manner, use nonverbal methods such as eyes to let them understand that you are listening carefully, and finally provide constructive suggestions.
5. Don't be afraid to say "no".
The practice of sacrificing one's own feelings and blindly satisfying the other person may seem beneficial, but it is actually a manifestation of insincerity. And a marriage that lacks sincerity can hardly have intimacy.
Suggestion: Speaking the truth can more win the trust of your spouse and deepen the relationship between husband and wife. List all the things you're afraid to tell your loved one, based on how difficult it is. After that, start with the simplest thing and try to tell your lover the truth.
