After divorce, my husband asked for a reunion, but when I thought of the condom he used in his car, I resolutely refused

My husband and I divorced. We were classmates and got married at the end of 2001.

His brother-in-law works in real estate, and we work in the same unit. At first, our relationship was also quite good. Later, due to business needs, we separated from each other. During this period, due to various reasons, he got very close to a little girl who was studying psychology at his workplace. That was 2009, right? I was very sad when I found out, and I have cried and made trouble before. They all told me that they will not have any contact in the future. Later on, the little girl resigned, and I thought this should be the end. However, I have noticed more than once that they still have contact, and I checked the phone, often in the middle of the night and on weekends. He didn't know how many phone numbers he had obtained, but I found them and replaced them with new ones. I want to persist like this for the sake of the child, but it's really tiring.

We split for a year in 2009, and later my child and I were together. Even when we were together, he never lost contact with that girl. Do you think I shouldn't get divorced? During that time, we were in the midst of the Cold War. Sometimes he doesn't go home. We have a second job and start a small company. He doesn't come home at night and lives at work. We both have two jobs, one is his brother-in-law's real estate development company, and we also have our own business related to architecture.

I have read the text messages they contacted, and it seems that at the beginning, he chased that girl. Later, the girl turned around and chased him, and so on and on, after six or seven years. I don't have any thoughts, I mean, the child is still young, and we really got divorced. What should the child do? Also, I work at his brother-in-law's company and my job is still good.

In the first half of last year, by chance, I met a friend who I didn't have much contact with before. His family was like this, and his wife had someone else outside. It seemed like we were in the same boat. They have already divorced, and their two children are with their mother. At this time, I discovered that my husband and that girl have a connection, and my heart was filled with anger. The more I thought about it, the more I felt aggrieved. So, I proposed a divorce and wanted to quickly draw a line with him.

Last July, we went through divorce procedures. At that time, I didn't tell anyone. Do you think I was doing the right thing? After the divorce, I moved out with my child and didn't resign, nor did I tell my family or friends. After all, the child is old and I don't want to affect him. He still has my keys and goes home every week. I've been procrastinating for a year like this, and it's too tiring to think about it. Recently, I have proposed resignation and separation. This year, I have told the friend I mentioned earlier that he will enlighten me if there are any difficulties in my heart. When I proposed to separate from my ex husband and resign, his sister approached me and conveyed his thoughts. He didn't want us to separate and said he wanted to live a good life in the future. Can a man really do this? Say let go and let go? Previously, he said it would take time to let go, not just to let go. What do you think?

I also think it's unlikely. I've found used condoms in his car before, so I rejected him. Now I want to quickly break away from him and not have any dealings with him. And my friend, he suggested to me that we are together, saying that it is people who have the same experiences that rely on each other. What should I do? You're a man. What are you saying they've been in contact for so long?

reply:

1. In China, due to the necessity of daily life and work, there are more and more couples living apart from each other, which has led to too many derailment bridges with five flowers and eight gates. Here, it is a reminder to couples who live separately that they need to constantly reflect on themselves, adhere to cleanliness, and not let their infidelity ruin the happiness of their marriage. At the same time, it is also necessary to consider which is more important between earning money and getting married, and to achieve balance and balance.

2. What is the degree of interaction between your husband and that little girl from the same unit? Is their interaction due to a moment of emptiness and loneliness, or is it because you have been separated from each other for a long time and have taken advantage of the situation and made mistakes? Or is it that your relationship has reached a dead end, and you need a clear answer in your heart, and choosing to divorce recklessly lacks some rationality? You need to reflect on it.

3. Since you have chosen to divorce and have once again refused your ex husband's request for reconciliation, you need to strengthen your heart. In fact, your heart is not as firm as you imagine at this moment. You are worried about your choices being wrong, so that's why you confide in me and want an answer from me, right? Perhaps, without the appearance and confession of the friend who later shared the same illness, you wouldn't have refused your ex husband so firmly. Now, you are confused about the pursuit of this "like-minded" friend and don't know if you should choose to be with him or not. In fact, emotions are something that depends on fate, feelings, and management. No matter who you choose to be with, you must feel it with your heart, judge it with your mind, and operate it with your actions. As long as you feel happy, relaxed, happy, and secure with him or her, then accept it willingly, If, on the contrary, there are no such feelings, you should give yourself more time for investigation and not blindly intervene.