After being raped by my husband, I left a shadow in my heart and couldn't extricate myself from being addicted to the internet

I am 27 years old this year, and my husband is 33 years old. We met through someone else's introduction, which is also considered a flash marriage!

We got married after spending two months together. In the first year after getting married, our relationship was very good. Just because I answered a phone call from a former friend and found out that I was married, I congratulated him on caring about me, and he became particularly angry and argued with me. He is particularly cautious and stingy, with a narrow mind. I don't think it's much to make a phone call between friends. Since then, we often argue over friends' phone conversations.

He is particularly selfish and doesn't have a regular job. He drinks all day and quarrels with me when he drinks too much. He keeps talking about these issues and saying that I hurt his heart. I feel like I haven't done anything or cheated, and everyone has their own friends. I don't have any room for freedom myself, and he doesn't trust me.

Once, when my friends and I went hiking, we couldn't get through on our phones. When I returned, he hit me and scolded me, causing me to be hit very seriously and sent me to the hospital. My family asked me to divorce him, but I still care about him and can't bear to part with the child. After all these things, I realized that both of us had changed. He had also changed, and I had also changed. He no longer cared for me so thoughtfully, scolded me when he was unhappy, and found trouble when he drank too much. I became increasingly disgusted with him, but I couldn't bear to part with the child. I became increasingly disappointed with him, and I slept at night dreaming about him hitting me, which left a deep shadow in my heart.

On the surface, I don't see much, but in my heart, I still can't let go of the things he did to me before. This makes me even more addicted to the internet, chatting with men, seeking comfort in my heart. What should I do?

reply:

1. Recently, there have been a lot of letters about flash marriages. Perhaps flash marriages are not a crime, but it is an undeniable fact that flash marriages can easily lead to marital problems. In fact, not everyone is suitable for flash marriage. Since you have chosen the path of flash marriage and have found that there are continuous problems after the flash marriage, and the other party's situation is very bad, it is better to face reality and find a solution instead of complaining.

2. You should know that any choice carries risks, and any marriage will have problems. When two people encounter conflicts, it is not necessary to focus on each other's shortcomings and never examine one's own shortcomings. Instead, one should learn to reflect first before complaining about others. If you know that your husband is more cautious, then you should know how to avoid certain behaviors and try not to arouse suspicion from the other party.

3. Marriage does require giving each other some space and understanding how to give each other freedom, but what if you unfortunately encounter a narrow-minded man who does not have this kind of ambition, cultivation, and height? Many times, 18% of conflicts between couples are misunderstandings. The best way to eliminate misunderstandings is through effective communication. If misunderstandings and conflicts can be resolved in a timely manner, it may not lead to extreme situations. Of course, if there is still no hope of improving marital status through one's own efforts, then choosing to give up completely becomes a helpless choice.

4. Therefore, facing the reality of marriage, choosing to escape is not a solution. Only by facing reality can one find a way out. Being addicted to the internet all day can only make you feel even more depressed, hoping for virtual emotional comfort, but it's just self deception and dangerous. Marriage is either over or off, or striving to strive for and improve, rather than being so negative and letting oneself down.