Post Date December, 03 2023
Will the person I choose to love but not myself be happy? I still decided to choose him, even though I don't love him - I love my ex boyfriend, but I chose the person who loves me. Can this be happy?
I broke up with my ex boyfriend. Although we are in love, we have been fighting and making trouble for many years. The reason is that he has good personal conditions and often has women clinging to him, which I cannot accept. I have been divided several times, but I am reluctant to part with it. Later, a man appeared who was very kind to me and didn't mind if I had a boyfriend who was willing to wait for me. He did many things that moved me, and finally I decided to choose him. Although I don't love him - I love my ex boyfriend, I chose the person who loves me. Can this be happy? (Because of fear of losing the feeling of love again).
Psychological expert response:
Finding someone who loves you, even if you don't love them, doesn't matter - when has this become a wise saying for some people? Many people will find this very cost-effective. If you don't love yourself, you don't have to put in emotional effort, and you're not afraid of disappointment without a reward. Just enjoy the other person's love. Isn't this kind of day very happy? Especially when the previous one put you through a lot of hardships and immediately met a man who loved you, this sense of "taking advantage" of happiness will come very strong. However, if you really don't love this man, after spending some time together, this sense of happiness will divide and go in two completely different directions - the key to differentiation is your expectations for love.
Some people are not sensitive to love. I have seen such women who are not interested in romantic relationships and believe that getting married means living a life, and intimacy means having children. After having children, if their husbands are not around, they will not be very attentive and will not pursue any interests. Men, as long as they regularly give money to their families, they are satisfied. As for whether the husband is considerate, will he often say love words to comfort her, and will he often play with her... they don't care much. Their demands for love are very low.
If you are such a person, then finding a man who you don't dislike but loves you may be enough.
But some people have high demands for love. They place great emphasis on the quality of love, requiring two people to be happy together, at least to be harmonious, have communication, have spiritual connection, have consistent life hobbies, and have a common language. If there are too many arguments or if the relationship gradually becomes flat, they will be dissatisfied. They demand that men must love themselves, and at the same time, they also demand that this man must satisfy himself. If they like smart men, they can never tolerate a fool; If they expect men to have emotional appeal, then dull men cannot stay by their side. If men are not ideal, they will feel that there are flaws in their entire life and will never be willing to make do with it.
