Post Date December, 03 2023
Many readers and students actually strive to grow and change themselves to achieve their ideal goals, but often some people give up. Why on earth is this? Simply put, stepping out of a comfort zone is inherently an uncomfortable thing, so it's easy to resist.
When we finally take this step, it is easy to fall back to the original point due to the impact of change. In short, we do not receive positive feedback. Even myself, if a student makes a girlfriend or an article that is highly praised, I will also be encouraged. Conversely, I will also feel a bit depressed and wonder if I need to make any adjustments or changes.
The importance of positive feedback to people, like a shadow, encourages us to do or not to do certain things. For example, if a thief succeeds in stealing for the first time, he will taste the sweetness and steal later. However, if he is caught stealing for the first time, he will leave a shadow behind, and may never dare to steal again.
The same is true for us when we change. At the beginning of the change, we are already very nervous. If someone laughs or fails, it is easy to fall back and become our original self, and then think, "It's better to be like this.". This is our protection mechanism, afraid of the risks of change.
"We often dare not tell others that we are learning to chase girls because we are afraid of being laughed at by others. Even if your engineering colleagues seem to have no girlfriends, they seem to think it's stupid, stupid, and funny to learn this, so we chose to hide it.".
At this point, what we need to do is establish a positive feedback mechanism. Why should we create BAND? In fact, the main purpose is to provide a positive discussion environment for everyone, where changes made by everyone can receive recognition and positive feedback from others, so that we have the confidence to continue to change ourselves.
You can find an environment with the same ideas, preferably with the right ideas, so that you can continue to be influenced by the right ideas and replenish energy at low tide.
"The finalization of a state requires approximately thirty positive feedbacks, which can become a fixed loop. This is why older people have some persistence that they do not want to change. Because they have had many successful experiences like this, they believe that this is the way to succeed.".
"Change does not always go smoothly, because the direction of change may not necessarily be suitable for you, so there must be a lot of adjustments in the middle to adjust yourself to the most suitable state, not that change is useless.".
Use the experience of failure as an opportunity to delete the list of choices, so that failure can effectively become the mother of success, rather than blaming others or self pity. "If you withdraw from your original self because of fear, it is the least helpful to you, because even the slightest bit of courage to change disappears.".
To say the worst, is there really any harm in changing? The worst thing is, like now, no girlfriend? Is there any way to make it worse? So in addition to positive feedback, you also need something called courage. Courage is the most common thing in JUMP (comics), but I don't know why, but it seems rarely seen in the real world.
Courage doesn't have to go to the store to buy it, nor do you have to ask for it from others, as long as you have a thicker skin. "Relax your mind and expand your courage. Do things you haven't done before (based on the principle of not harming others, of course). Try your own possibilities. Your world and abilities may not be as narrow as you think, but you have limited yourself.".
Anyway, it doesn't cost much to try it out. Just try to talk about topics you haven't talked about before, joke about things you haven't played before, go to places you haven't been to, and talk to different people. Even if you fail, I can't think of any real losses for you.
Over the years, if you had succeeded in your original way, you would have already succeeded. Would you wait until now? "I also experienced many failures before I realized that my original approach was not working, and I began to choose to change this path, so why not try a completely untried approach?"? Anyway, isn't the worst thing the same as now?
