What will happen after being single for a long time? 3 single sequelae must be well managed

The sequelae of being single mainly refer to psychological factors. Being single for too long can lead to a lack of confidence and increasing pickiness towards men. The various manifestations of the sequelae of being single can even affect your plan to leave.

Sequela of singleness

In today's society, the number of singles is constantly increasing, and many people are struggling to find a partner every day. Although many people have achieved success in their careers, their personal problems have not been solved for a long time. This has not only become a social problem, but women who have been single for a long time may also suffer from "single sequelae", which is truly inevitable. So what are the sequelae of being single? How should we eliminate these psychology?

Symptom 1: Growing less confident

Mr. Yang, 34 years old, holds a doctoral degree and is a senior employee of a foreign enterprise. After being admitted to the doctoral program, he has been striving to find his own partner and has seen many of them. He has high requirements for height and the woman's job. But often it's him who takes a liking to others, and others don't take a liking to him. The girl felt that he could consider it, but he also felt that the other party did not meet his own requirements.

Mr. Yang regards marriage as a part of his success, so now the issue of marriage and love has become a particularly heavy burden on him. Friends and family are becoming more and more sensitive to this issue, and asking or not asking is not right. Asking him will be annoying, and not asking him will feel cared for. To relieve pressure, Mr. Yang has developed some unhealthy lifestyle habits. He often suffers from insomnia, and recently he has felt a bit of hair loss, which has also affected his work energy to a certain extent.

Some passive singles who remain single for a long time may experience lack of confidence and self denial at the level of self-awareness. Some people may even be lazy about their daily grooming.

Marriage and child education expert Yin Hongting believes that some single individuals may focus on work and study due to family pressure, burying the needs of marriage. However, over time, this buried problem will become increasingly prominent, and the family's resilience will also be severely tested.

Symptom 2: Decreased communication skills

Ms. Tao, who is 30 years old this year, is usually very busy with work and has never had time to fall in love. Her parents were anxious to introduce several candidates to her, but they all ended up feeling too busy and helpless. Ms. Tao's lifelong problems have become the center of her family's attention and have been criticized by her family. This pressure has caused many physical reactions, especially during holidays, making her particularly susceptible to illness. This Christmas, my classmates and friends all went out to play together. However, Ms. Tao stayed at home alone and suddenly had a fever, which felt quite suffocating. When someone suggested that she go for psychological counseling, she said she could handle it, no problem. Now Ms. Tao's mother has developed depression and needs medication treatment. Ms. Tao doesn't even want to go back home now. "When my mother went crazy, it was really scary. I don't think this house can stay anymore

Long term single life may cause passive singles to isolate themselves and avoid socializing due to their inferiority complex. However, this will affect their interpersonal skills, and in the long run, it will form a vicious cycle.

Long term single individuals may feel insecure about intimate relationships, leading to overly sensitive boundaries and a heavy sense of prevention in interpersonal communication, especially in heterosexual interactions, which can damage intimate relationships within and outside the family. Due to family and friends paying attention to the marital status of single individuals, they may be listed as individuals who reduce their social frequency, leading to damage to their support system. Further reduce their social skills and the likelihood of finding a suitable partner.

Symptom 3: Psychological imbalance

Mr. Xiang is already 38 years old, but his self-care ability is very poor because his mother takes care of his son very meticulously and has a lot of control. Mr. Xiang has unrealistic hopes for marriage, but his personality is immature, his thoughts are relatively simple, and his interpersonal skills are poor. Long term single life has caused him to have a certain degree of depression tendency. He has sought psychological counseling, taken antidepressant drugs, and when under pressure, he would talk to himself and loudly scold others in the mirror.

My classmates and colleagues are starting to start a family and career, with children and daughters, but I am still wandering alone without my own small family, which is a kind of pressure. In addition, they also have to bear a lot of pressure from the outside world, which they cannot control. These external pressures make them unable to truly focus on their own needs, and not getting married is no longer their personal matter, Sometimes it becomes a shame to the family, a lack of filial piety towards parents, and a burden on family and friends. This pressure cannot be alleviated, and success in work and career cannot achieve the goal of reducing the attention of parents or their closest friends to this issue. Over time, they are prone to insomnia, anxiety, depression, etc.

Symptom 4: Lack of sense of responsibility

Mr. Lin is 33 years old this year and is the project manager of an IT company. During his college years, he had a girlfriend and they had been dating for four years. Just as Mr. Lin was about to propose to his girlfriend, he unexpectedly told him that he had fallen in love with someone else. Mr. Lin suffered a great blow as a result, and even thought of death.

From then on, Mr. Lin lost confidence in both love and marriage, so he adopted a playful attitude towards life and socialized with different girls. In his own words, no love or marriage meant anything to him now.

When the inner needs of passive singles are not met for a long time, some of them may go to another extreme of venting, often calling on friends and going crazy with a cathartic nature, but they are not happy in their hearts, and some may even have multiple and disorderly sexual partners.

Experts have pointed out that single people nowadays are prone to a lack of sense of responsibility and unwillingness to take on relative social responsibilities due to their long separation from their parents' dominated families and inability to enter a new family formed with their partners. Some people choose to be single under a noble name, which is likely due to their inner fear of taking responsibility. Another extreme where there is no need for accountability is the lack of constraints.

Expert advice

Self acceptance is the best way to adjust one's psychological state

It is recommended that single individuals with psychological anxiety should try to put themselves in a comfortable environment as much as possible. For example, in the layout of a room, try to create a soft feeling as much as possible, using some soft colors or soft touch items. Because soft colors make it easy for people to calm down, while soft tactile objects give people a sense of security. At the same time, you can chat and chat with some of your favorite friends on a regular basis. Slowly cultivate one's communication skills.

And you can try to change your living environment and image. For example, changing a hairstyle can sometimes easily change a person's mood; When returning home from work and changing the route, you may discover many interesting things around you; During holidays, you can travel and communicate with different people on the journey. The key is to start with what you can do around you.

Standards for both individuals and oneself should be gradually lowered. Single individuals who lack confidence in themselves should moderately participate in some relaxation activities, participate more in sports activities, and cultivate confidence. Those who demand too much from others should be able to accept the flaws of life and others, and should not deliberately pursue perfection and perfection.

Many people cannot solve their marriage problems well, and a large part of it is because they have set too many rules and requirements for themselves. Adjust your mindset, finding a partner to get married is not about buying goods, cannot be easily replaced, and there is no shelf life. Give yourself less "excuses", be more tolerant of others, and you will find true love by your side.

Specific performance

1. You found that all men have problems

One negative effect of being single for too long is being overly picky. You can find flaws in every man around you, but in reality, most of your criticisms have little practical basis. Even for men with excellent conduct, you can still find fault with their lack of taste in clothing, large pores, unwillingness to watch entertainment news, and saving money Perhaps you have developed the illusion of being a senior critic. More likely, you are afraid of pursuing the opposite sex, so use these artificial nitpicking as an excuse.

2. Feeling extremely shy in front of the opposite sex

The best explanation for why you don't socialize with the opposite sex is that you don't know how to handle yourself in front of them. When you gaze at them and they also notice your gaze, you feel that you are not pleasing them, but repelling them.

When you first got along with a member of the opposite sex for a while, you ended the relationship with some outrageous actions, such as asking them to give you tight underwear on their third date (so that you forgot the normal steps of the relationship's progress).

If this is not outrageous enough, start treating your opposite sex harshly. In front of a friend, you command him around just to prove to others that you can control your boyfriend.

If this is repeated, true despair will befall you.

3. Always thinking too much

Unfortunately, you live in a false imagination where all men love you. Every ordinary interaction with the opposite sex is given a special meaning by you.

The waiter at the car restaurant handed you the hamburger and fries and said, "Happy to you." What you heard was, "I want you now." When the man in the elevator glanced at the rice crumbs on your lips, you felt it was a passionate gaze of soul exchange, and immediately began to fantasize about the erotic scene of the two in the closet.

Every friendly gesture and polite nod makes you feel loved, as if you have the chance to win every round. However, look at the ace in your hand, it's just a small J.

4. People think you're gay

You never linger around men and do not show interest in them, which leads people to believe that you have other sexual orientations. You probably noticed that your good friend started going out and in with her homosexual cousin, and people always let you two be alone.

Don't be so angry, don't try to argue for anything. Since you spend all your time entertaining friends instead of dating men, what do you expect others to think?

5. Rely on technology

You have given up the idea of finding a real male partner and hope that globally advanced science and technology can bring you one. You are interested in every development in the field of Biological engineering. Actually, have you already drawn many blueprints on your napkins yourself?

You may be aware of this hidden desire, but it is usually hidden in the subconscious. We must change this mindset, it is unhealthy.

6. Indulge in love soap operas

Admit that your biggest entertainment is love soap operas, right. Fantasy oneself as the number one woman with a perfect love ending.

It's time to adjust your preferences. When deceptive entertainment erodes all your leisure time, its impact is very dangerous.

7. Men, women, and strong men

After being single for a long time, one will become more independent and become a strong woman. You have to fend off all the small details of life on your own. Over time, you begin to have a carefree personality like a man, becoming a man and a woman. This is enough to make any opposite sex shy away from you.

8. Despair

Loneliness is terrible, and despair is even worse. There are signs that despair is hovering in your mind like a giant mutant octopus. Wanting an email mail order boyfriend is an extreme example. No matter how you think, this is actually not romantic at all.

Of course, there are other potential signs, and you should be aware that being single cannot continue like this, otherwise using an inflatable doll as a partner is undoubtedly considered a good choice.

Take off your order quickly.