What should couples pay attention to when living separately? What should couples living separately not do

Marriage is when two people establish a family, live together, and get along day and night - this is the understanding of most people about marriage. But in real life, many couples have to face long-term separation due to changes in the nature of their work and workplace. Some couples, although living under the same roof, rarely meet due to differences in their schedules. According to a report by the United States' Doctor of Cybermedicine on May 30th, the Center for Research on the Relationship between Separated Couples in the United States shows that at least 3.5 million people have involuntarily separated from their spouses.

American psychotherapist Teresa pointed out in her book "Marriage in Two Places" that separating from another place can bring both benefits and problems to marriage. When separated, both parties often recall each other's strengths, bringing a sense of freshness to the relationship. On the other hand, if both parties start to hate the situation of separation and cannot communicate well with each other, the marriage will soon turn red. I personally prefer to live separately. Distance gives couples no sense of belonging and more autonomy, which can exercise their ability to handle problems independently and enhance their confidence. This is beneficial for balancing the relationship and avoiding unnecessary conflicts

Moreover, time is precious to everyone. Living apart ensures complete autonomy for each other, without worrying about whether they are in sync with each other.

The American "Doctor of Cybermedicine" also offers some "tricks" for couples who live separately: both parties maintain a positive and optimistic attitude towards life, which is the most crucial point. Fully utilize high-tech communication methods such as mobile phones, the internet, and electronic imaging to maintain good communication. The party who stays at home should try to solve their own problems in life, such as finding maintenance workers, cleaners, or temporary nannies, so that the party who works outside has no worries. Cultivate interests and hobbies to make solitary life more colorful. Often give the other person unexpected surprises, such as placing a family photo or writing a note in their partner's suitcase, to make them feel your longing. Carefully arrange the reunion time and deeply experience the warmth of the family.

Four Demands and Four Don'ts for Couples Living Separately in Two Places

The world is ushering in an era of high separation rates between couples. In the United States, at least 3.5 million people involuntarily separate from their spouses; In Germany, 12% of married couples are separated from each other; In China, there are more and more "end of month couples" and "end of season couples" in cities such as Beijing and Shanghai... In order to help couples living separately maintain their relationships and sexual life better, we interviewed marriage expert and national second level psychological counselor Li Huili, and referred to the latest foreign experience to summarize the "four wants and four don'ts" of separated couples.

In terms of emotional connection:

Learn to communicate skillfully. Communication is the most critical factor in maintaining the normal functioning of a marriage relationship. The more candid the communication between the two parties, the easier and more effective it will be. In fact, separating between two places can also improve communication skills.

Keep in touch through various means every day. With the advancement of technology, it is much easier to live a "two place separation" today than it was 30 years ago. The couple should try to communicate daily as much as possible, preferably through video. Occasionally, you can also write a long letter to send your thoughts remotely. Knowing that someone is constantly thinking about themselves will make a big difference.

Don't be unrealistic. When living apart, it is not always possible to have unrealistic fantasies about your partner, and it is also normal to develop jealousy towards other sweet partners who are bored together. In this situation, do not get angry or hold it in your heart. You can communicate with your partner.

Don't always be full of worries. We cannot always consider the negative impact of "living apart", as it actually has a positive side, such as having more time and space, being alone, and getting along with friends.

In terms of sexual life:

Meet regularly for sexual activity. Sexual activity is a major issue faced by separated couples. If couples can get together every two months, they can adopt a "zero savings and lump sum withdrawal" approach, and after accumulating sexual energy appropriately, they can have one or two high-quality sexual activities. At this point, the intensity of sexual pleasure between the two is often better than usual.

Learn to masturbate. For couples who only meet for half a year or more, they can first satisfy their sexual desires by practicing masturbation, or they can also try sexual equipment.

Do not actively accept sexual stimulation. On days when reunions are not possible, sexual stimulation should be appropriately reduced. Because both vision and hearing can make people's sexual tension rise significantly in the short term, men are particularly sensitive, reducing the chance of Libido, and maintaining the level of sexual desire in a moderate state.

Don't complain about sex. Separation poses a challenge to both parties' sexual needs. Don't complain about each other. Couples often make phone calls, send text messages, and reminisce about their good times together, which can also satisfy their sexual psychology.