What is the biggest difference between a boyfriend and a boyfriend? One article takes you to understand

Not long ago, I saw a message on the backstage of the official account.

The girl and her boyfriend have been together for four years, and they are about to get married. They don't have a house or a car, and the girl doesn't care. She just wants a dowry money, but the man told her that my family can't get it now. The girl is so angry that she wants to break up with him.

Unexpectedly, after the breakup, the man bought a car and got married shortly afterwards. In fact, the family had already prepared a wedding house, and later the girl realized that from the beginning, she was just a lonely and boring friend of the man in this city.

A sisters soul from Zhihu asked: What's the difference between this boyfriend and pao friend?

Subsequently, the sisters asked and answered themselves in the topic description:

I thought my boyfriend would immediately ask for leave and take a taxi to catch up with you when you were in a headache. In your cramped rental room, he would cook Congee for you, serve tea, fan for ice, and wash off your bras and underpants that you had thrown away for several days without saying a word. Even when you wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night for three days, calling him feels justified.

But in fact, for some boyfriends, you are really 'important', just like playing ball and going to bars and playing mobile phones.

I once had a boyfriend, and after two years of talking, I parted hands. After being single, I became a little boyfriend, and since then, I have only talked about romance and not love, and my life has been happy.

In the past, boyfriends had small magnanimity and big rules. Wearing slightly low-cut clothes made them angry, getting close to colleagues made them angry, and even attending a party with male friends made them angry; He is particularly tolerant towards his boyfriend, with female colleagues who refuse to pursue him decisively. His ex girlfriend can still chat for a long time when she calls, and his family arranges a blind date, which is also open to everyone. More is better.

In addition, there are various distractions:

Tell him something roast. Never be impatient. When encountering setbacks and wanting to be comforted, his eyebrows twist into Fried Dough Twists: Can you stop being so fragile?

Why don't you ask him to have a meal and go shopping for something? He said he's busy with work, but he often sneaks in and plays games during his busy time.

Let's start a family and get married. Without any action or effort, I don't know when I can get married.

Sickness, business trips, plumbing, these things that require him to be there are never there, only sweet words and tight hugs in bed, playing the role of a boyfriend.

On the other hand, as a young Pao friend, he has excellent business skills and can really play with him in his spare time. He won't be impatient when talking to him about anything, and can really provide some comfort or helpful advice.

So she came to the conclusion that there is no difference between a boyfriend and a pao friend, and they are not tired or annoying when getting along.

While I lamented that this sisters was unlucky to find a boyfriend who was completely offline, I also remembered that I had been writing official account for so long and had heard so many sisters' emotional experiences - it was not rare for a boyfriend to become a fireball friend.

There was a sisters who was deeply disturbed by her feelings. She came to talk to me face to face and asked my boyfriend if she wanted to continue.

What did I say?

She said that the two are in the same city and different places, one in Hedong and the other in Hexi. They usually communicate online and meet on weekends.

But her boyfriend doesn't usually look for her. She goes to work fishing and wants to chat with him. He is even more perfunctory than sir, only saying that work is too busy.

Only when it's almost the weekend, take the initiative to ask her, 'Is it about you or me this week?'?

Pick a good restaurant for dinner on Friday night, buy a small gift at the mall, and get back to the main topic when you get home. It's a Spring Festival snack.

After the weekend, the two returned to their respective work and life.

I'm like talking about a boyfriend with a shelf life of two days

The little sisters looks very tangled. She wants to end or continue this relationship.

I slowly made a question mark in my heart. sisters, are you sure you are not talking about pao friends?

Xiao Liu is a heartless girl who loves a boy and treats him with all her might.

The other party's expression changed a bit, and she felt that the sky was about to collapse. If she said something particularly cold, she could ponder how to make him feel better without eating for a day. True love is just that, isn't it? Xiao Liu thinks so.

Until one day, she asked me in a particularly puzzled way, "Is it normal for a girl to come and have a stomachache and her boyfriend not even say a word of concern

Of course it's not normal! What can a boyfriend like this do for you when he doesn't even want to say a perfunctory 'drink plenty of hot water'? Whenever he pretends to be you in his heart, he cannot ask about your illness without even asking.

I directly scolded her: silly girl, you're not a boyfriend here at all, but a pao friend.

But he often comes to me and brings me gifts, "Xiao Liu explained, unwilling to believe that the boy doesn't love her.

What did he come to do with you? Eat? Watch a movie? What gift did he buy you? Lipstick? A bag? "I asked back.

Xiao Liu suddenly became speechless. Because he had nothing else to do with her, even with the bed, and he was wearing nothing else, but a condom.

A boy who is wearing a condom in his pocket and wants to play with you in bed when he sees you. He is even more prepared than you. Does he really love you? Or just want to have sex with you and leave after finishing.

So, your aunt is here, rolling on the bed in pain, and he doesn't even want to come and see you. Because coming doesn't mean anything to him, he can't fight in the blood, and he has to rack his brains to prepare words to comfort you. How difficult it is to serve others.

A true boyfriend not only comes to you when he needs you, but also when you need him, in the wind and rain. You come to your aunt, he cooks brown sugar ginger water for you, buys medicine for you, and warms your baby. He sees your pain and he also feels it.

Many girls act as girlfriends as girlfriends. Every time they ask their boyfriend if there is only love between us, he will struggle for a long time and say, 'Where are you going? You are my girlfriend, love is only secondary. We can also watch movies together, take a walk together, and I will buy you gifts.'.

So the girl thought about it. Although he would only accompany her to watch movies and give gifts when he wanted to love, he would also talk to her about his future life after love. Pao friends should not be like this.

Hehe, in fact, this is also a PAO friend, just a more advanced PAO friend, just like a VIP in PAO friends. You also enjoy the service of chatting and watching movies, and there will be VIP exclusive gifts for your birthday.

Actually, what is the picture of having a boyfriend?

It's nothing more than psychological satisfaction and physical satisfaction.

Psychologically, there are people who understand each other, happy people who share, unhappy people who coax, a joke can be sent to you to laugh together, when encountering injustice can find you to vomit roast and be coaxed.

Physiologically, there are people hugging and accompanying each other. In the afternoon of shopping together, there are people carrying heavy items, eating a second half price sweet cone, drinking a cup of milk tea with different flavors, and then coming back in the evening, tossing around in bed.

It's actually quite simple, but many big pig hooves just don't understand, or rather, they don't want to understand because they're unwilling to give. The clarity of the slag.

So the most terrifying scenario is:

I always thought I was with a boyfriend,

Finally, it was discovered that he was just a small cannon friend;

Digging out one's heart and lungs, treating someone like a boyfriend,

Finally, I found out that others only treat you as a cannon friend.

One of the differences between a boyfriend and a pao is whether they have added you to their social circle.

If a boy doesn't post on social media, introduce you to his friends, or take you to meet his family, then he definitely hasn't thought about having a future with you. If he really loves you and treats you like a girlfriend, he will definitely want to swear sovereignty to everyone and tell every friend that you are his girlfriend, showing love everywhere, how could you be seen in groups.

The second difference is that it depends on how much initiative he has towards you.

If every phone call is made by you, every message is sent by you first, and every time you take the initiative to find him, chatting is also unresponsive. Sorry, this is a low-level PAO friend. He will use various reasons, especially "busy" to prevaricate, and only when physical needs come will he be gentle and available to you.

The biggest difference between a boyfriend and a pao friend is whether they have a sense of anticipation.

Because I like it, I have various expectations and a sense of anticipation towards my boyfriend.

Talk and go shopping, you can find your best friend; If you come to my aunt when you're sick, you can also make it through on your own; Change the light bulb and fix the toilet, you can also spend money to find a master to fix it.

When single, these things are not considered a problem, but once you have a boyfriend and have expectations for each other, there is an additional sense of dependence, hoping that you can also feel the emotional satisfaction between couples.

The satisfaction mentioned here is not someone else's boyfriend sending me a 520 red envelope, but you also need to send me a 520 red envelope. If you don't want me to risk a thunderstorm to deliver medicine to me, then it's not an expectation, it's a coercion of love, it's an unreasonable provocation. The expectation mentioned here is the natural concern of two people who love each other. These concerns do not require much effort and expensive prices, but are sincere enough.

If he always says that he loves you but always makes you feel wronged, then sisters should seriously consider whether you are a boyfriend or a boyfriend. After all, the boundary between the two is quite blurred - don't accidentally regard friend P as a boyfriend.

Similarly, it can be proven that for boys, the same applies. Don't accidentally mistake your friend P for your girlfriend.

Your so-called confusion is just watching yourself sink with clarity