Post Date December, 02 2023
Mark, a British sociologist, found that men speak half as much as women every day. Women like to establish and consolidate relationships through conversation, while at home, they like to show their leadership and show their concern for men through gossip. Men don't think so. No matter how eloquent they are before marriage, they are more willing to directly say their specific wishes, or "stuffy pot". Some people say that men are mobile animals. So, what does it mean behind men's silence?
Case: Xiaowen, a Hebei reader, asked: My husband and I have been married for three years. Recently, I feel that he is speaking less and less. At home, I speak mostly, and he occasionally answers. Especially when there is a dispute, no matter how I reason with him, or even blame him, he doesn't talk much, or simply completely silent. Excuse me, what does man's silence mean?
The silence of men in disputes actually contains very rich language. When the signal of silence is sent out, you should learn to figure out what he is thinking and what way to rescue him according to his words and deeds, the scene, and his expression and state when he is silent.
First of all, there are many kinds of men's silence, some are listening, flattering and agreeing, some are perfunctory, acquiescent and absent-minded, and some are forbearing, evading and yielding, but more are still resisting, demonstrating and expanding the battlefield. Each can be the beginning of a heart-to-heart dialogue. The premise is that you should know what they really want to say, and then take corresponding countermeasures.
Secondly, most men's silence contains some inherent self-esteem or weakness, and the most intuitive manifestation of these self-esteem and weakness is often in their "protest". Silence, as a way for some men to protest, naturally contains some "he cares" messages. This information is often regarded as a treasure by men, and can't be easily touched by almost everyone, including their wives. Some men don't like their wives talking about their parents at any time, and some men don't like their wives interfering too much in their work... As women, they should have a clear idea of which questions should not be asked, which questions should be appropriately and appropriately asked, which questions should not be too direct, and the wife should summarize them in daily life.
Use silence to protest gossip
Women like to establish and consolidate relationships through conversation, while at home, they like to show their leadership and show their concern for men through gossip. Men don't think so. No matter how eloquent and talkative they are before marriage, married men are more willing to directly express their specific wishes, such as "I want to go out to dinner with you tonight", "I want to rest", "I want to have a meeting".
Many times, because of women's chatter, the noisy sky at home and outside is the same. Men tend to be more rational than women at this time. In the face of women's chatter, he will not directly refute it - that is undoubtedly throwing a bomb at home; He will not yell at him rudely - it is undoubtedly a trapped animal with half the effort.
Many men are accustomed to silence. On the one hand, they use silence to express their emotions, thoughts and attitudes at that time. On the other hand, they deliberately use silence to keep distance from each other. Women will feel particularly hurt for this. In this regard, women often say that "they have no feelings (feelings blog, feelings say) (feelings blog, feelings say), it is cold blood", which is actually a misunderstanding. Married men are more accustomed to communicating their feelings (emotional blog, emotional talk) (emotional blog, emotional talk) and love with their hearts. The more a woman talks, the farther away a man will be from you. Although he is silent, he has set up a "protective wall" in his heart.
Use silence to recuperate body and mind
Boys have received the "backbone" education of conquering the world, standing up to the sky and taking responsibility since childhood: when they grow up, no matter how helpless they are, how hard they are, how cruel they are, how heavy they are, and how great pressure they are... they can't cry out, wash out through tears, and vent through pouring out.
The only thing they can do is silence. Reflect in silence, recuperate in silence, gather momentum in silence, lick wounds in silence.
Therefore, when a man comes home with heavy steps, sits on the sofa without saying a word, and turns a deaf ear to your words, you must not dictate, make trouble, imagine, or even ask for help. Maybe he just finished his conversation with the customer and was exhausted, or he was facing the delay of his life and career, and felt tired and hurt. At this time, he was silent to recuperate. He was reborn in silence. At this time, you might as well give him an hour to say "goodbye" to his work during the day. After that, he may show amazing interest in any of your questions.
Treasure privacy with silence
Sometimes, a man will make up a lie in an emergency, and sometimes he will try to hide something, such as drinking a few bottles of beer the night before yesterday, having an affair on his business trip, and just getting an extra bonus. Men's assumption is that as long as they don't say it, women don't realize it, everything will be very simple. Sometimes, men's silence is another kind of concealment. He may think that a woman is too autocratic and interferes with his freedom and rights. She will even autocratically arrange his daily life. Therefore, in order to prevent a woman from breaking the casserole and asking the end, and to prevent her from transparently controlling and supervising him, he chose silence. Without the trace, his world would be much quieter.
There are also some men who are silent because of their personal cultivation and the forbearance of their love for her.
To make a man open his heart when he is silent, first of all, give him a sense of security, that is, you will not take advantage of his weakness at any time. You can use the passion of women to comfort him. You can also listen to his narration quietly, evaluate as objectively as possible, and seek solutions with him. Therefore, when a man is silent because of "sadness", women should learn to control their emotions. If they can leave a space for quiet and thinking, men will also slowly forget and move the unhappy things away. When the mood of both parties is calmed down, it is often better to find a suitable opportunity to communicate.
In fact, a man always has a potential tendency to be arrogant. As long as he has enough audience, he will be extremely charming, talkative and interested. So, if you want to ease the frozen atmosphere of each other, you can consider going to a bar or tea house with him. Because there, he can find the public that excites him. Or do something with others, such as watching TV and shopping with others. When he finds that his position is threatened, he will come to you to solve the deadlock.
