Post Date December, 03 2023
The unhappiness and even dissolution of marriage have certain social roots, but psychologists have found that some psychological factors can also make people feel unhappy in marriage, and even lead to the dissolution of marriage.
First, unrealistic expectations of spouses.
The generation of marriage problems is related to the perfect expectation of the spouse. For example, many girls expect the husband to overcome all difficulties, while men expect the wife to be kind and tolerant to all people and things. But life is not so simple, and human behavior often changes with the specific situation.
A man may be baffled by an inconspicuous problem, and a kind and tolerant woman may also be irritated by some trivial troubles. At this time, people's perfect expectations of their spouses were ruthlessly denied by their spouses in reality, which led to negative views of themselves or their partners. For example, they will think that no matter how hard I try, I can't change him (her); He (she) turned out to be such an incurable person. Such a view, in turn, will cause the couple to have anger and despair towards each other, and finally make the marriage red light.
Secondly, irrational belief in marriage.
When people have the following beliefs and expectations about marriage and spouse, it is very likely to cause problems in marriage:
1. Must "harmonize": think that intimate partners should be completely consistent, and any inconsistency between them must be harmful and destructive to marriage;
2. "The heart is in tune with each other" is not self-conscious: think that a loving partner should feel the real thoughts of each other without direct communication, which is "heart to heart";
3. People cannot be changed, and the quality of relationship is fixed;
4. I believe that sex life must always be perfect and should not have any defects.
Therefore, when there is a contrast between the marriage life and your expectations, you will feel disappointed and frustrated, and gradually push the marriage life into the abyss.
Third, the wrong interpretation of marital unhappiness.
Unhappy couples often think that their partner's negative behavior is caused by their "stubborn nature", while their partner's positive behavior is transient, accidental, and "flash in the pan". Always understanding marriage life in this way will cause couples to habitually exaggerate the crisis in marriage, ignore the happiness in marriage, and more easily give up or avoid solving the problem until the marriage is on the verge of dissolution.
Psychologists have found that people can't get a happy marriage because of the way they view their spouse and marriage. To make marriage happy, first of all, we should start from our own inner concept, try to look at the relationship between husband and wife and the behavior of spouse in a more realistic, rational and flexible way, and fill the marriage life with a positive attitude and good communication.
