The unfaithful husband has been cheating countless times, but he asks his wife to keep his virginity

[Q]

I met my husband online in 2011, and he was very able to say that at first we often talked late, and both of them were very excited. Sometimes we couldn't bear to go to bed at two or three o'clock in the morning, and wanted to talk to each other for a while.

Later, we were together. From then on, he treated me a little differently and became indifferent. It was completely incomparable with his previous enthusiasm. The number of times he contacted me was significantly reduced. Generally, I didn't look for him, and he wouldn't even come to me for a word all day. But I really fell in love with him at first sight. Maybe love makes people blind. It takes less than a year from formal love to marriage. But since I married him for more than three years, he hasn't let me worry any day.

He chatted online, fell in love online, and had a one-night stand with other women. As far as I know, he lived with other women eight times. Once I caught him with another woman, but he even went to have a room with another woman in front of me. Should I have such a marriage?

I said divorce, but he refused. He said he wanted two families. I looked after his children and served his parents in his hometown. He lived together with other women outside. I said that he would not go out to work. I don't know his income. He only gave me a small amount of living expenses every month, and then said that he had no money. He pretended to be poor in front of me. When the child was ill and hospitalized, he did not care.

Moreover, he is now living with another woman. During this period, I looked for him, but he told me to keep my life as a jade for him, saying that I was not allowed to go to the wild man.

I want to ask, is this marriage still worth maintaining? Or is there any room to retain this marriage?

[Answer]

Does love have a shelf life? In your opinion, it is probably not. After he catches up with you, the speed of emotional cooling makes people have to question whether the previous love affair is his usual trick, and all the beautiful words are for the purpose he wants to achieve.

In the eyes of outsiders, such a marriage is undoubtedly extremely bad: a man has countless affairs, while enjoying the care of his wife at home, while practicing the skills of picking up girls outside, and eating hot food and hot dishes at home. No, he even saves time to cover up.

But you are still hesitating, unable to make a decision to give up. The problem is "falling in love at first sight". This man is too much now. He used to be beautiful in your eyes. His marriage is unbearable, and he also reposes your desire and feelings for home. You are always willing to believe that one day, the prodigal son will turn back. The reality feedback to you is more ridiculous every time.

When you are weak or tough, you can't influence what the other party does. What you should change is yourself. Can't get rid of such a man who has no respect for love and marriage, just because of you now, you don't have enough ability to go out. You are used to asking for instructions from him, and you can't be controlled again until you get his permission. From now on, make your own decisions. If you must rely on it, you can get support from the counselor.

Good feelings, first of all, are respect and trust. Such feelings will grow over time and become valuable experiences. The feelings that deteriorate too quickly may not have been seasoned with sincerity at the beginning. If you need love and care, you should refuse indifference and contempt. When you put your posture too low, the other party may think that you have no bottom line, and it doesn't matter if you trample on it at will.