The road to remarriage has been bumpy, and suspicion and snobbery have left my marriage deeply lost

I was born in a rural area, and with my strong academic enthusiasm, I was admitted to a university in the county town. After four years of college life, I gained both academic and romantic achievements. After marriage, I got married. The children from poor families were already in charge, and after stepping into society, I quickly integrated into this city. Working from nine to five, I did a very happy job compared to doing farm work at home.

My husband was born in this city, perhaps due to good living conditions. He lived too comfortably and did not cherish his job well after entering the workforce. He often arrived late and left early every few days, and after less than a year of marriage, he changed jobs and his salary was not as good as before. Every time I talk to him, I need to maintain a positive attitude. In the future, there will be more pressure to have children, so I can't always rely on family support.

But he has infected the city people with inertia, and the pattern between us is becoming increasingly different. Arguments constantly arise between us, and once he can't say anything about me, he will forcefully argue, and even if he doesn't, he will say three things. Open your mouth and shut up, saying that I am from a rural area and do not understand the joy that big city people enjoy in life. The distance between us is getting bigger and bigger, and I have proposed a divorce. There are no children, no property, no rented house, and there has been no verbal conflict during the divorce. The most he said was' you will regret it '. What I regret is marrying him. I've been in love for four years, but I didn't understand him. It's really a failure.

After my divorce, I focused solely on my job. Over the course of three years, I had saved a lot of savings. In addition to honoring my parents, I also borrowed some money from the bank. With the remaining money, I rented a store, started a clothing store, and started my own business. The appearance of my second husband, Xiaofeng, made my eyes shine. He is a customer of my store, wearing matching clothes. He asked me to help him choose, and during the conversation, his handsome face revealed a mature atmosphere. Due to the failure of my first marriage, I didn't think too much, it was just a form of worship.

Later on, he often visited my store, coming and going, and we became familiar. More importantly, he confessed to me. I observed him for more than half a year before agreeing to marry him. He is also a divorcee, with a daughter and an ex-wife. After marriage, I gave birth to a son for him. We live a happy life as a family of three. The good times don't last long. When the child was one year old, Xiaofeng often ran to his ex-wife with me on his back. I found out twice, and his explanation was that his ex-wife got married and suffered domestic violence from her husband. The child was frightened, and he wanted to comfort her.

Did someone else's wife get hurt and he go to comfort them? I am holding my one year old son in my arms, and I also need to manage the business in the store. He is not invisible. I can tolerate doing this twice at a time, and I'm worried that they will develop feelings over time. Perhaps due to the failure of my first marriage, I developed a strong personality. I cannot tolerate my husband being good to other women, and I suspect he still has feelings for his ex-wife. I talked to him and asked him to stay away from his ex-wife. Not only did he not follow my instructions, but he also had more frequent contact with her. I have every suspicion towards him, and I don't trust him at all.

Over time, the cracks in our marriage grew bigger and bigger. A few days ago, he seriously told me that if he felt uncomfortable living with him, he agreed to divorce. If you don't want a divorce, please let me show him respect. Teacher, can you tell me what his attitude is. He went to pay attention to other women, but said I didn't show him respect. Now, as a second married person, I am lost again. What should I do?

Reply from Weiqing Consultant:

With the passage of time, even the best relationships can deteriorate. The mentality maintained by love and marriage is different. Love is a burst of emotions, a beautiful feeling; Marriage is a mature process based on love, and it involves many simple and complex things, such as his ex-wife and children, who are constantly chopped in countless strands.

The first marriage left a shadow on you, so you are more cautious when remarriage. The change in mindset makes you sensitive and worried about losing the marriage again. The more cautious you are, the easier it is to make mistakes in judgment, causing misunderstandings that are even more detrimental to the marriage. I personally believe that you should not rely solely on suspicion when doing things. If there is something you can discuss, he can help his ex-wife, after all, they have children involved in the middle. However, it cannot be too excessive. Helping others beyond the bottom line is definitely not allowed.

She is not divorced yet. As her ex husband, keeping a certain distance from her is also a help for her to avoid misunderstandings and make things worse. Analyze the importance of right and wrong with him. Don't rush and propose a divorce. To persuade the other party, first grasp their psychology. Good luck.