Post Date December, 03 2023
Q:
My husband is my first boyfriend. He has talked about three girlfriends before, so my experience is far inferior to him emotionally. Although I am not a material woman, I attach great importance to love and want to get all my husband's love.
But after we got married, we quarreled constantly, all for the trivial things in life. His character was very stubborn, and he wanted to fight with me.
I got pregnant more than four months after my marriage. The strong pregnancy reaction and the feeling of being ignored by him made us fight even harder. At that time, my mother said to him whether he could let me go, but later he didn't even know how to respect my mother. The days after that were even more difficult. The war between us evolved into a contradiction between our parents. In a fit of anger, I sent a message asking for a divorce. Two days later, he replied to me, "You can tell me in advance when you want to go through the formalities." I was confused at that time. I didn't expect him to be so cruel when he didn't read our feelings or my baby. I have been procrastinating, hoping that he would change his mind, but in exchange for my miscarriage.
After miscarriage, I was very painful. I cried every day and kept crying. I can't believe that he who treated me so well before would treat me like this today. Why does he change his face as fast as turning a book! I'm really confused now, teacher, can you help me!
A:
Understand the pain in your heart and take care of your body. Every marriage will gradually transition from infancy to maturity. During this period, due to the gap between marriage and marriage before marriage, and the pressure brought by separation from the original family, it is easy to have friction because of some trivial things in life. If this run-in period can be passed, the marriage will enter a gentle development period, and the relationship between husband and wife will become deeper and deeper after the run-in.
According to your statement, the main reason for divorce is that you don't know how to mediate and control your emotions and solve problems, which leads to the deterioration of minor matters into major issues. In addition, the intervention of parents of both parties has escalated the marital conflict into a family war, which will make your marriage more and more chaotic. When love is worn out and the family relationship is not yet secure, it will be hard to think of "divorce" for relief.
Give each other some time to calm down and think about whether it is really necessary to fight for family matters? In addition, you need to communicate with your parents, implore them not to be involved in your marriage, and give enough space and time for you to deal with it yourself; Of course, after marriage, you also need to accept the gap between love and marriage, cultivate a communication channel and resolution mode suitable for resolving your conflict, use "three rules" to divide the responsibilities of both parties, try to have more sympathy with your husband, less complaint, and give him more understanding and tolerance.
