Post Date December, 03 2023
A few years ago, Yamin (not her real name) suffered from depression because of being laid off. Her long-term closed life made her very withdrawn and introverted. Later, she partnered with Song Yan (alias) to make stock investment, which gave her a sense of achievement and confidence again. Song Yan also became Yamin's spiritual sustenance. After the cooperation, Yamin's spirit was empty again, and then an online friend broke into her life again
Unbearable
The more I chat with netizens, the more ambiguous I become
Mental depression after being laid off
In our family of three, I have contributed to happiness, but unfortunately it is also because of me. My husband and I had a happy family. He was 4 years older than me and worked in a large enterprise. For more than ten years, we have been educating children and supporting the elderly together. Outsiders are envious of us, saying that we are a loving couple. The only drawback is that the husband only knows how to work hard, and does not understand the romance of life at all.
In 2001, our company's benefits fell sharply. In order to reduce expenses, the company decided to let a group of old, weak, sick and disabled people be laid off in advance. I became the first batch of laid-off workers because of my poor health. I was not convinced to go to the unit to judge, but the cruel reality was in front of me. The market economy did not believe in tears, and the unit could not open its eyes to me because I went to report. I was so angry that I suffered from depression. Since then, I have no chance to get another job.
Character change
Become a glutton
My husband didn't dislike me. He comforted me mentally while letting me take medication. In retrospect, he really suffered a lot in those years. When he came home from work, he not only had to wash and cook, take care of the children, but also took care of me when I was sick. But when I got sick, I was either silent or noisy. Frankly speaking, my suffering is unconscious, but his suffering is real and painful.
After two or three years of treatment, my condition has improved greatly, but my character has become withdrawn and introverted. Perhaps I have been isolated from the outside world for too long. I have become unable to speak and dare not touch strangers, let alone work. All I can do is stay at home and watch TV, occasionally go to the market to buy something, and cook for my husband and children. Over time, my husband and children would not communicate with me, and I became a person who could not work but could only eat idle food.
Invest in the stock market
Finally, I have a new hope
In September 2004, I bought a computer and tried to make stock investment at home. Because I didn't understand, I entrusted a professional to help me. His name is Song Yan (pseudonym), 29 years old, from Beijing. We have never met. The contact method is telephone. Every day, Song Yan will guide me to buy or sell by phone or SMS, and we will share the profits in proportion. Song Yan is a trustworthy person. He has worked hard and helped me earn a lot of money for more than a year, which makes me very grateful.
This kind of gratitude is not only for money, but more importantly, it makes me have a sense of achievement and regain self-confidence. It makes me feel that I can realize my self-worth. When this kind of gratitude turned into a kind of warmth, I began to look forward to Song Yan's call and his familiar and kind voice. In March 2006, he left his company, and our cooperation ended. Since then, he has never contacted me again. A sense of loss that I have never felt before fills my heart. I will cry when I think of him, because he brings me unparalleled happiness.
Chat online
I am in love with netizens
After losing Song Yan, with the help of my son, I learned to chat online. In January this year, I met a man named Wei Guo (alias), who works in a hospital in Nanjing. He is 42 years old. At first, we just casually talked about our lives, and then slowly talked about family and feelings. Every sentence of his is full of tenderness and care. For the first time, I know that men can be so careful and romantic.
One day in early April, my husband discovered my secret. He said that I was too emotional, advised me not to get involved in online chat, and deleted my QQ. I am very ambivalent. On the one hand, I hope to have a friend who can speak confidences. On the other hand, I am afraid that this kind of relationship will affect my family. I told my husband about my inner feelings, but he who pays attention to material life doesn't know what I lack. A few days ago, I installed QQ again and got in touch with Weiguo again. I don't know whether I am doing this right or not
