Post Date December, 02 2023
Before meeting my husband, I had sex with someone else
I had a boyfriend before I met my husband. At that time, he was young and immature, thinking that as long as he fell in love, it was normal for men and women to have premarital relationships. So I easily handed it over for the first time. Because he didn't fall red, he didn't believe I was a virgin and became increasingly indifferent to me. Only then did I realize that he didn't love me at all. We quickly broke up with each other. I haven't been in love since then. Men actually care a lot about whether they are virgins or not. I really regret it. If time could turn back, I would definitely leave my first time with my husband.
Later, I met my husband at a friend's party, and we both felt good about each other. I think I have already recognized him. After six months of dating, I had a relationship. I had been hesitant to tell him the fact that I was not a virgin, but I felt that most men couldn't accept this kind of thing and were afraid that he would dislike it. Finally, I couldn't make up my mind to speak up. Because I happened to have a period break in those few days, I wanted to use it to cover it up, so I took the initiative to have sex with him, and he didn't suspect anything.
Now that we are married, our relationship has always been good. My husband is very kind and won't ask me about the past, but I always have a lump in my heart and feel guilty and uneasy when facing him. I feel guilty for playing tricks on him, and I'm also afraid that if he knows the truth, he will leave me. I am very afraid that we will be together for a lifetime, and in the future, we will encounter any problems. We may talk about similar topics, so how awkward I should be. He doesn't ask about my past now, but in the future, how should I answer when he asks? Do I have to lie to him that I haven't had any relationship with anyone else? Should I be so anxious to deceive him for a lifetime? I'm also very worried and afraid. What if he finds out that I'm lying to him in the future! I want to be honest with him, but I don't want to lose him because of it!
Reply:
Happiness does not require too much truth. The more thoroughly you uncover all the truth, the less likely it is to be happy.
As long as you know he loves you and you also love him, that's enough.
Perhaps you think that if you don't confess all the truth to him, it's unfair to him.
But you should know that in this world, not absolute fairness can always bring absolute happiness.
Imagine, when you tell him all the truth, how do you think he should face all these facts then?
I believe that if he truly learns the truth, he will inevitably suffer and become entangled. You're right, most men don't have the broad-minded ability to fully tolerate their wives' previous sexual experiences because they love them. A man loves a woman and hopes to become her all. This is a man's confidence, and only confident men can make marriage go on happily.
So, I advise you not to easily destroy a man's confidence, let alone this rare happiness.
Hiding the truth does not mean that you are evil. Because you love him, you hope to love each other happily.
Revealing the truth does not necessarily mean that you are noble. Because in order to open your own knot, you have to tie a dead knot in his heart from now on.
If you really want to tell the truth, it's actually your selfishness. To make him suffer even greater pain for his own pleasure.
I have seen many men, and after learning about their beloved woman's past love history, they will feel extremely painful. They will say, "I would rather not know. If we don't know, we can still live happily
So, since you've made up this lie from the beginning, keep your secret for a lifetime.
He never asked about the past, that's because he recognized you as a virgin and didn't think you had too complicated past relationships and grudges, so there's no need to ask this question again. In the following days, as long as you can live your life as usual, I don't think he will have any other doubts. Perhaps you feel burdened and uncomfortable, so use more tenderness and consideration to repay him.
In the coming decades, hold onto this secret, and let everything before it be a dream
(Intern Editor: Lai Jiaxing)
