Post Date December, 03 2023
According to relevant experts, the number of people who cheat in marriage in Guangzhou has been rapidly increasing and forming a continuous trend. According to the latest survey, over 50% of married women and over 70% of married men have at least one intention of infidelity.
If the victim of an extramarital affair can detect dangerous romantic images early on. Most people can take preventive measures before things happen. Psychological experts have summarized three main reasons for extramarital love
1、 Loneliness
A wife said to us, "As soon as my husband Zhang arrived home, he would endlessly tinker with his computer. One day when I was going to the bookstore, my books and groceries fell to the ground when I tried to retrieve my wallet. A kind-hearted man helped me lift the book and asked," Oh, do you really like classical novels? "A week later, I went to the bookstore and happened to meet him again. The next day, we talked for over three hours.
Things always go from one thing to another, but to be honest, what drives our relationship is not sex, but conversation. For Zhang, I am just a reproductive machine, that's all between us. This loneliness is unbearable If a person lacks intimate emotions in life and cannot find someone to share the big and small things in life. A sense of loneliness arises spontaneously. This sense of loneliness is precisely the main factor that causes extramarital love.
2、 Monotonous
A man said, "Although I've been thinking about other girlfriends for 11 years, I never really wanted to find an affair. One night, because my wife was out, I went to a party alone. A woman invited me to her place for a drink or two. At first, I was shocked and nervous, telling her that I couldn't go. But that thought kept stimulating me, and two days later, I hung up on her and it happened
The temptation of external stimuli is the second common cause of infidelity between couples. After five or six years of marriage, the passion began to cool down, and daily life fell into a fixed pattern. Once free couples also had children, and sexual activity always took place at the same time and in the same way. Extramarital love, on the other hand, provides many adventurous factors: flirting, chasing, danger, unleashed desires, and fear of being discovered.
3、 Lack of communication
We heard a description of a marital argument: 'I feel very angry about my husband Liu never helping to take care of the children. I also have my own job, and what's frustrating is that taking care of household chores has become my own responsibility. One Friday afternoon, he asked me what to eat for dinner, and I replied,' Eat the northwest wind! 'After hearing this, he became furious, and my anger grew even stronger. He ran outside and shouted: I don't have to endure this! 'Later he told me that he and his girlfriend had their first bed that night
Many couples lack awareness of the harmful ways of communication in their marital life, and they blame each other. As a result, emotions of anger and frustration permeate all aspects of life, especially sexual life. The establishment and maintenance of marital relationships are achieved through the exchange of thoughts and emotions, and sexual activity is the most important form of intimacy in emotional communication.
Ms. Li said to us, "We argue about sex, and my husband feels that it's always him who takes the initiative, so he's very unhappy. Indeed, he keeps his face on me all day, so I don't want to take the initiative at all. So he turns over and sleeps with him, and even in the morning, he doesn't pay attention to me
From these destructive ways of communication, both parties suffer greatly and experience an increasingly strong sense of abandonment. Anger and verbal abuse, these mutually attacking ways of communication, permeate the entire marital life. A mother admitted, "He's driving me crazy, so I won't let him
A female lawyer complained that although she was holding her breath psychologically, she still had to constantly compromise on the surface.
Experts believe that rescuing a marriage on the brink of collapse is much more difficult and takes longer than destroying it and ending it. But as long as you do the following four things well, you can completely prevent your spouse from escaping from your palm.
Firstly, establish the concept of spouse priority
A woman doctor devoted herself to a research project for 11 months, neglecting her husband and family life. One night, after a day of intense work, she didn't go to bed until 12:30 pm. Her husband got angry and said, "I've had enough! I'm not even as good as your job
Among all the things you care about - work, children, family, etc. - your relationship with your spouse must be prioritized, and the main time and energy must be spent on the relationship, followed by other aspects of life. If you can't balance your primary and secondary relationships like this, it's better to break up with your spouse as soon as possible.
Secondly, establish realistic goals
If you insist on reliving the dream of being a romantic couple when you get married, you will be greatly disappointed. Of course, this does not mean that sexual life is no longer exciting, and romantic love is gone forever. But the joy shared during the wedding cannot be used as the standard for a new relationship between couples. Both spouses are changing, and their relationships have become different from before - in a sense, perhaps more diverse.
Thirdly, seeking change
A securities broker complained, "I have always wanted my wife to know that I need more care and intimacy. Sometimes I almost ask her to touch me, but she always digs the topic." Both spouses should have the willingness to seek change, starting from the meticulous care between each other, paying attention to each other's needs, and love will rise naturally, and sexual life will gradually become a meaningful act of love. Rebuilding a good marital relationship takes time, and the experience of loving couples indicates that the continuation of this process is uncertain. They never take their spouse's cooperation as a natural thing.
Fourth, avoid issues that can easily cause arguments
Communication can both damage and cultivate emotions, as well as dampen and build self-esteem. Improper communication can easily lead to damaging ways. This approach will erode one's self-worth and ultimately destroy the cherished marital relationship. Phil said, "When we argue, it's always like that. She was very angry with me about something and then ran out to buy clothes, which made me very angry. We argued and scolded about money, and money became the fuse of our argument
People often fall into this vicious cycle. Break this cycle and save Dim sum to avoid issues that are likely to cause quarrels, such as economic expenses, which are likely to cause spouse unhappiness. If you can recognize these issues and handle them in a compromise way, then the relationship between the two parties will further blend and the marital relationship will be more harmonious.
In love, both men and women form an unwritten contract, which is usually a tacit understanding between the couple - two people are a whole, and it was formed long before the marriage oath. The union of husband and wife has exclusivity, which is marked by the degree of intimacy between the two sexes. The world of a couple is built on a contract that includes children, houses, and common friendships. This mutual understanding becomes the foundation for the unbreakable relationship between husband and wife.
In the analysis at the end, we cannot determine what caused a specific person to break this contract and abandon their spouse to embrace others. However, we can say that if you eliminate certain destructive factors in marital life, you can support the opportunity for infidelity, enhance marital relationships, and create a family joy that is shared by both parties and full of fun and happiness.
