Let me introduce myself briefly: Male, born in 1981, my parents have been divorced for 20 years, and we have been living together. My father and I both work in community hospitals (public institutions), but we are not doctors. We work in logistics and administration, with low salaries, but our work is easy and stable, and our family has little money. So we just bought a house last year.
"I have two relationships in total. My first love was at the age of 30. Before 30, I felt immature and the current conditions were not very good. However, after 30, when I wanted to find them, I couldn't find them because I was older and the conditions were not good. Moreover, due to the limitations of my work environment and limited contact, I had the same idea as most older young people - that high is not enough, low is not enough.".
"Now I'm quite distressed, perhaps because I have a problem with my ideas, that is, I don't have a correct concept of marriage. For example, the image of the woman is OK, but the family conditions are not good, and there is no job. I don't agree."; I can't accept those who have a stable job and an average family, but have a bad image. One thing to explain is that my appearance seems to be mature, probably around the age of 40.
My father's point of view is that I have only one choice between bread and love. Isn't there someone who doesn't seem bored and has a stable job? Although I am old, I don't want to make up for it, especially my appearance. I really can't make up for it, because I had this attitude at the beginning, and the chances of separation in the future are really too high. Even if I don't leave, I would still be very unhappy. I think my requirements are not high, just haven't met. I sincerely request experts to give me guidance and sincere thanks.
[Reply]
As for relationships, I think people should learn to be flexible and say what they want to say at any age. When we were in our 20s, we could idealize and pursue perfection when looking for lovers. But now that you are not young, after 30, you should be more mature about relationships and marriage.
First of all, we need to know for yourself that you also confess that your conditions are average, and that a person aged 30 looks like a person aged 40. Since we are not Prince Charming, why ask for the other half to be Snow White! If you are so demanding about your romantic partner, or are completely self centered, you will never find someone who belongs to you.
Secondly, at this age, what we need more must be marriage, and marriage is about being real. Of course, everyone's criteria for choosing a spouse are different, and the requirements for marriage are also different. We all have the right to pursue happiness. However, we must take an objective view of something, and stand in the soil of reality to find someone who can hold our hand, not because of our own excessive pursuit of perfection, Even frivolous view of spouse selection and missed their own fate.