On a business trip, I lost my mind and had an affair. After voluntarily confessing, my wife's actions made me despair

I have always been honest and upright, and I met my wife through friends' introductions. When I was in school, I didn't even have the courage to talk to girls, and I was very timid. Even my wife's best friend, I didn't dare to speak up and blushed for a long time. That's why I was often laughed at by my wife. That's why she trusted me and never worried about me cheating.

For five years, our marriage has been very harmonious. However, a business trip shattered our peaceful life. The client is a woman, very wealthy, but very proud. I went to sign the contract with two colleagues from the company, and she put on airs not only to not welcome us, but also intentionally arrived an hour late for dinner. I had a very bad impression of her at the dinner table. After a few drinks, she started talking. After the dinner, she insisted on marrying and singing, and never talked about the project. She would naturally cooperate with us if she had a good time.

When she arrived at KTV, she danced like crazy, and everyone drank a lot, feeling very drunk. I originally wanted to stay awake, but my female client got dizzy. Before I handed her the contract while she was happy, she reviewed it and then showed it to the secretary again, and quickly signed it. After coming out of the concert hall, she had to go back to her respective hotels to rest. Her secretary took a temporary step ahead, and the other few people were all drunk. Only I was a bit sober.

I sent the female client back to the hotel, but I didn't want her to grab me and tear at my clothes. I was scared and wanted to run away. Her lips had already pressed up, and my heart was about to move. With half a push, we had a relationship. After waking up, I fled in a hurry. After returning home, my wife continued to be affectionate towards me, but I gradually felt guilty. I want to erase that ugly memory, but I can't forget it.

Afterwards, the female client constantly harassed me in the name of work, causing me to become mentally disordered. Every time I hear my phone ring and see the name of a female client, I sweat out of fear and cannot withstand this mental torture. I voluntarily confess to my wife. As a result, I came along and my wife's face turned blue. I could clearly feel her trembling. She slammed the door and left. Later, her best friend called and said she was staying at her house, which reassured me. However, her mental state was very poor, and her eyes were swollen from crying.

I went to pick her up in pain, but the person did, but my heart is no longer with me. She has been cold to me all day, scolding me whenever she doesn't agree. At first, she was cold to me. As time passed, she was willing to get intimate with me, but suddenly when she got intimate, she would say, "Which one is better than me?" Several times, I was so shocked by her words that I couldn't feel it anymore. What should I do now? Her attitude was too intimidating, as if she was a bit mentally abnormal, which made me quite depressed. How can she forgive me?