My wife tricked me into going back to my parents' home to date online friends on the grounds that my father-in-law was going to hospital

Letters from readers:

Hello, teacher. My wife and I have known each other for two years and got married in July 2013. Before marriage, we had a good relationship and looked forward to the future together. But when our daughter was born, I felt that everything had changed. I didn't value boys more than girls. I felt that my daughter was also very good. After the birth of her daughter, she is also very family oriented. I have to work so I spend little time with her. Generally, she and my mother take care of the children together. My daughter is about 6 months old (we have been sleeping together and have no separate rooms). She has been chatting with a female friend named Xingxing on WeChat. I also know this woman, so I don't think much about it. A few days later, at about ten o'clock in the evening, she ran to the bathroom to answer the phone and came back to tell me that she would go home. Her father had drunk too much and would be sent to the hospital. At that time, I didn't think much, so I also asked to go with her, but she did try every way to stop me. Finally, I went with her, but when I got to her door, she refused to let me in. At this time, I felt like something was happening in my heart, so I didn't say anything, just said I was leaving, and when I came back, I called to pick her up, but I was sure that I drove the car to the intersection, turned off and waited there. After about 20 minutes, she left. She walked alone, talking on the phone while walking. I was there watching her. She didn't notice me. It took about half an hour to call and then hung up, but within half a minute someone called again. I didn't want to say more. I was a little disappointed and went home alone. She didn't get home until about 12 o'clock. I asked her what she had done. Why was it so late? She said that she would take care of her father at home, but didn't say anything in the middle. Later we had a fight, and I hit her.

The next day she went back to her mother's house. I wanted to divorce at that time. Later, on the advice of my family, I went to her house to pick her up. In this way, we made up again, all for the children. I thought it was over, but it was just the beginning. A few months later, she chatted with another man (very ambiguous), and then told me that this man was a friend of mine. Later, they quarreled and fought, and made up again. But the first two months or so, I saw that someone sent her a message to call her wife, but she didn't say anything and talked with others. This time I really want to divorce. She agreed, and her family agreed. So she went to another place. After more than half a month, I also felt less impulsive. For the sake of the child, I said I wanted to make up with her. She said yes, and she didn't want to be separated from me. She said she would go home for a while. I thought to myself that it would be good to relax. I agreed without saying anything. However, in the next few days, I called her and sent her a message. She always loved not to answer the phone. For the sake of the child, I put up with it. The day before yesterday, I said I would go home tomorrow. I said I would go to pick her up, and she agreed. But since I called her in the morning, I haven't answered her. I sent a message to me in the afternoon. Ha ha, I'm fed up with it too. I don't know what to do? I hope the teacher can help me.

reply:

Hello, in the face of the ambiguous chat and private meeting between your wife and WeChat, in addition to beating and scolding, you are slowly soft and soft after beating and scolding and making noise. You have never reviewed whether you have problems, and have never combed why your wife does this? Find the cause of the problem. However, you have repeatedly used beating, scolding and divorce to vent your dissatisfaction or threaten her. In fact, it has not played a positive role at all. Instead, she is indifferent to you. Is it your wife who is fickle? Is she born a frivolous woman? Not necessarily. In fact, she is too empty, lonely and cold, because she lacks your company and you create a simple romance and care for her. Why do you feel so good before marriage and why do you feel so different after marriage? Maybe not only others have changed, but also yourself. After marriage, you have children. Although you boast that you have no preference for sons and daughters for the birth of your daughter, do you dare to ensure that your wife's self-esteem is not stimulated by the casual expression and attitude (including the reaction of your family) permeated in the bone marrow? Not to mention this, I just want to say that after marriage, you let your wife and mother take care of your daughter together. First of all, the long time coexistence between your wife and daughter-in-law will inevitably lead to small frictions, which will interfere with your wife's mood. Second, watching the children together will reduce fatigue, but bring leisure. As the child grows older, the mother-in-law can intervene more, and your wife has more leisure to kill loneliness, so it is hot to chat with WeChat, and the relationship grows over time, The new excitement makes her lust start to rise, and you may just be busy ignoring her needs, so dating WeChat friends will be staged naturally.

Suggestion for you: In the face of the wife's "empathy", don't use fists and feet to replace communication, understand the inner needs of women, and don't neglect the care and company of your lover when you are too busy. When the child can get rid of it, or let your wife go out to work, consume her extra attention and energy, avoid eating, clothing and lust, or let your mother go home, let the child completely occupy her body and mind, and use the child to involve her energy, she will have no energy to go crazy. In short, if you don't want to divorce, you must find ways to repair your marriage and feelings, otherwise, more problems will follow.