Post Date December, 03 2023
[Question]
Hello teacher, I want to ask my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law a question. I really can't bear it. If I knew my mother-in-law was like this before marriage, I would never marry him.
It's also my fault. I didn't understand him clearly and thought he was quite a good person. I only met my mother-in-law once and then obtained the certificate.
In fact, when I went to his house to meet my parents, my mother-in-law gave me a good impression. She invited me to come over and sit down, and asked me not to interfere with cooking and washing dishes. I still think it's quite good and easy to get along with. Where do you know? After I left, she changed her face and told her husband that the woman you're looking for is too lazy, and you'll have to suffer in the future. These are all things my husband told me later. Mother in law instigated discord, which directly led to our marriage. My husband didn't do anything at home. I asked him to help me hang up the clothes in the washing machine. He didn't go, saying that his mother said women can't get used to it. Have I let him get used to it?
My mother-in-law really knows how to act and is always talking about unfilial behavior. I don't want to see her and I really don't want to go to my mother-in-law's house. After a few weeks of absence, my mother-in-law called her husband to mourn and said, 'I've married my wife and forgotten my mother. I won't even return home.'. Make me angry. I just wanted to curse someone who was always shameless. The first thing I do every month is to transfer half of the salary to my mother-in-law. My husband's salary card is with me, and I always transfer it to my mother-in-law. Which daughter-in-law can do this? That's it, she's still talking about me in front of her son, is it all over? You can't be so immoral in life, can you?
The husband listens to his mother very much, and his mother-in-law knows how to be pitiful in front of him. He won't say a word of stress to her, even if many things are obviously wrong with her, he won't say anything. He always talks about me, I don't have to do anything every day, and she can find something to annoy me every day.
I have a bad stomach. It's hot these days, and I have no appetite at all. In addition, I was angry with my mother-in-law, and had a stomach attack. But my husband, without a word of concern, hurried to accompany his mother to the hospital. What if my mother-in-law suspects she has high blood pressure and goes to the hospital? The old lady is doing very well, and after examination, there are no problems, and the cost of a full body examination is also borne by her husband. I'm at home and my stomach hurts so much that I can't get out of bed. I've had enough of it.
I don't want to have such a day every day, nothing to be happy about. For this top-notch mother-in-law, I live a dark and gloomy life. I want to get a divorce, but my husband doesn't agree. He said that my relationship with him is okay, so what kind of divorce should I propose. Without his mother, I can be good with him, but my mother-in-law is here, so let alone let me live with him for a lifetime. One day later, I think it will be short-lived. What can I do?
Answer
Grandma is not your enemy, first of all, understand this.
The key is that your husband also doesn't know the skills to avoid conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. He should have played a coordinating role, but it has had the opposite effect, and in your opinion, he has become the "accomplice" of mother-in-law's "evil" behavior. He needs to learn how to make his mother happy and his wife happy. And you need to learn to block the negative influence of your mother-in-law.
Sometimes men are not as complex, and if they participate in wars among women, they become cannon fodder. Your problem is not serious enough to require a divorce to resolve. We can help you.
