Post Date December, 02 2023
I was 29 years old, and I met a 25-year-old girl introduced by my colleague. She was generous and cheerful, and I was very happy with her. We got along very well. But on the 40th day, she told me that she had sex with her boyfriend three times last summer. I really couldn't accept it at that time, but when I recall the little things I got along with girls, I felt reluctant to part with them. I told her to give me some time to think about it. I didn't talk to her for two days. She called me and heard my voice. She cried and told me that with this matter, I would be better for you. The happiness after marriage is more important than this matter. She will live with me well.
I really want to give her a chance, but I feel guilty to my parents. I interviewed my parents from the side, and their attitude was very firm. They broke up when they knew it before marriage and divorced when they knew it after marriage. They said that no man could accept this fact, and which man would like to wear this green hat.
In addition, my mind is also extremely unbalanced. After all, I was a clean boy from childhood, but my future wife gave it to others for the first time. I tried to get along with her for more than a month, and wanted to adjust my mind, but I still couldn't accept that my future wife was not a virgin. Maybe I was too male chauvinistic.
Whenever I think of that scene, I feel very worried. My parents' attitude was firm and clear, which made me unable to eat and sleep now, and I lost more than ten pounds than before. What should I do now?
A Tell you the truth now, which shows that the girl is still honest. I understand your very contradictory mood and have been thinking hard about whether to continue or break up. But no matter what the result will make you uncomfortable. If you break up, there are a lot of reluctant to give up. After all, you have the same feelings and conditions; If you want to continue to get along, you care about her past.
Your current worries are largely influenced by your parents' traditional ideas, and have a lot to do with your family education, which also makes you have a lot of invisible constraints.
I think the most important thing is your "virgin plot". Nowadays, both men and women have very open ideas, and it is not surprising to have sexual relations in the process of love. For your future wife, do you care more about her character or the layer of hymen? If you choose the latter, you don't understand the true value of women. Your "virgin plot" is also influenced by the idea of "men are superior to women" in Chinese feudal society. I want to ask you, if female "chastity" can be defined by "red", then how to define male "chastity"? If women are also so concerned about men's "chastity", what will the world be like?
Accept the reality bravely, change your cognition, and you will become relaxed. Don't let the stale "virgin plot" affect your happiness. You may regret missing her for life. Marriage is dominated by yourself. Don't be disturbed by other factors. If you can accept her past, I hope you don't mention it to hurt each other after marriage. Wandering at the crossroads of life, I hope you can make careful choices.
