My husband was robbed by me while playing with his phone, and I discovered a particularly heartbreaking secret

My husband and I are both thirty years old, and we got married in 2014. During our relationship, he had contact with a woman and even opened a house behind my back. During my work period, I accidentally called him and heard that the person answering the phone was a woman. He hung up there. Then I called again and he answered the phone. I asked him where he was, and he told me he was in an internet cafe. I said we had videos, and I looked at you. He said he didn't have videos on his computer and asked me to wait for more than twenty minutes. I asked him, why is there a woman? He said it was in the game, so I believed it.

It wasn't until a few days later, when I was washing clothes at home and he was playing with his phone there, that I accidentally grabbed a look at his phone and realized that they had had a relationship that day when they opened the house. At that time, I was really in a bad mood, very painful and too uncomfortable. I was chatting with that woman, and she told me, 'You didn't hear me wrong that day, it was me who answered the phone.'. I was very angry at the time and dropped my phone. I told him we should separate, there's no need to be together anymore. He said that the woman wanted to be with him and asked him out to save her. But I didn't want to listen anymore, so he coaxed me and later passed away.

Since then, I have never believed him, so I went to find him after work. I always wanted to check his phone, and sure enough, I saw him texting that woman and sometimes chatting on WeChat. I was very angry and used WeChat to scold that woman. Because of this, we always argue. Having been together for so long, I am also very conflicted. Now, we don't have children, but when I am with him, I always feel that he doesn't care much about me.

I work late and he doesn't come to pick me up at home. Sometimes I also complain, he always has many reasons, and he is still a male chauvinist. I am afraid of the future. Sometimes he says that when I have a car in the future, there must be a mistress next to me. I am very angry after hearing this, and sometimes I don't want to continue this marriage. The reason why I can obtain a certificate is because I am old.

In terms of relationships, I have always been very unhappy, and my family is always worried. I always arrange blind dates in various ways, including meeting someone outside. They all hope that I can get married soon, but now it seems that I am also discouraged. Should I give up? Please show me a clear path, Brother Shan.

reply:

1. As for what you confide, if what you say is objectively true, then your boyfriend is indeed very garbage. However, on the other hand, when you are with a garbage man, what are you? After all, it's not your own judgment that matters. During the romantic period, his problems became apparent and were very difficult to accept as moral and principle issues, but in the end, you chose to forgive and marry him with a certificate. This is completely due to your own lack of strict control, which has caused you to struggle and suffer now.

2. You should know that if a man betrays his girlfriend before falling in love, there is no need to doubt the probability of his infidelity after marriage. It can be seen that this man does not really love you in his heart, but only treats you as an optional cold dish. The most crucial thing is that this man is so disrespectful of your feelings, full of lies and deceit, and has no shame or regret for extramarital affairs. So, what do you think is the point of choosing to continue with him?

3. You undoubtedly have a particularly sad past with him, and I believe that in the future, you will continue to embrace a more painful tomorrow. Because your husband has already told you that life will be better in the future. With a car, it's the third person next to you, not you. He can say anything like that, sister. Why don't you go up and give him a big slap and quickly dodge? What are you waiting for? Waiting for him to really bring the mistress to you and share the warm and lingering happiness of him and his lover?

4. Marriage is sacred, emotions have dignity, and love is equal. As a woman, no matter when it comes to marriage, one cannot get married for the sake of it. The purpose of marriage is to achieve happiness and fulfillment in life, rather than compromise and tear down one's face every day. Fortunately, you don't have children yet. If you choose to separate, it won't involve too much. Marriage is one's own, happiness needs to be grasped by oneself, whether to leave or give up, the decision is up to you, respect your own heart, think carefully, how much joy and happiness do you have with this man? To put it one step further, as a community of marital interests, how many interests do you have in this marriage? Carefully calculate the accounts and come with whatever you think is cost-effective.